Anorexia film To the Bone triggers tears, painful memories at special screening

Alison Rogers has been trying to keep her eating disorder under control for years, but she says sheis particularly vulnerable now weeks away from her entry into a local outpatient day treatment program.

In spite of that, she chose to attend ascreening of To the Bone ata Toronto eating disorder support centrelast Friday, the same day the controversial film portraying a young woman's struggle to overcome anorexia, wasreleased on Netflix.

Rogers was able to sit through most of the film, often gripping the hands of thewomen sitting near her, but some scenes were simplytoo hard for her to watch. It was particularlydifficult seeing the emaciated bodyof main character Ellen, who suffers from anorexia and is played by Lily Collins.

It makes mefeel likeI need to go work on my goals harder. I need to go starve myself more.- Alison Rogers, suffers from eating disorder

"[The film] makes me feel like there's something wrong with me," said Rogers. "It makes me feel like other people are watching this film ... thinking, 'God, how awful that is, how bad I feel for this young woman.'

"At the same time, I would die to look that way. It makes mefeel likeI need to go work on my goals harder. I need to go starve myself more. I need to run more."

'Please do not show this film': petition

That sentiment is precisely what critics of To the Bone have warned about: that the film glamorizeseating disorders and calorie counting and might serve as an instructional video on how best to have an eating disorder.

Similar kinds of concerns were raised earlier this year with the Netflix series13 Reasons Why, which deals with teen suicide and assault, and the streaming service was forced to add more warnings to certain episodes.

This time, Netflixincluded a triggerwarning, stating that the filmincludes, "realistic depictions that may be challenging for some viewers."

That preamble wasn't enough to stop an online petition from being launched to pull To the Bone from the public domain.

The petition decried the movie, saying it would "glamorizemental illness, exacerbate the stigma surrounding eating disorders and be triggering for those attempting to recover from an eating disorder."

So far, the petitionhas more than 850 signatures.

A safe space to watch

The controversy surrounding the movieprompted Sheena'sPlace, a Toronto eatingdisordertreatment centre, to organize ascreening to create a safe space for participantsto watch and discuss the film.

"There's no way I could have watched this at home," said Rogers.

The centre'sexecutive director,DebbieBerlin-Romalis, said seeing a Hollywood portrayal of a disorder you're struggling with can bring up the "old feelings of shame and stigma that you lived through."

Despite the concerns about the movie, Berlin-Romalis said the film isuseful because it starts a conversation and may push people who are quietly battlingan eating disorder to seek help.

"We don't necessarily want to shoot the messenger," saidBerlin-Romalis."But we want to really actively listen to the message."

'Don't watch it alone'

7 years ago

Duration 2:53

Clients of Toronto eating disorder treatment centre discuss controversial Netflix film about anorexia

Part of thatis highlighting the numbersmany Canadians mightnot be familiar.

According to statistics provided by Sheena'sPlace, eating disorders are the No. 1 cause of death amongall mental illnesses. Almostonemillion Canadians struggle with various eating disorders. In addition,men make up 25 per cent of those dealing with eating disorders. The film features a male character with anorexia.

Berlin-Romalis said if To the Bonebrings attention to eating disorders, it could have a positive effect.

"Then that in my mind makes the film successful," she said.

Not a one-size-fits-all disorder

Another client who uses the services at Sheena's Place, Kira McCarthy, first watched the movie alone at home, armed with colouring pages on her iPadto distract her when scenes became too disturbing. She brought the tabletwith her to watch To the Bone a second time, surrounded by friends at the centre.

Once McCarthy got through the first 10minutes, which she called "uncomfortable,"she zeroed in on oneof the main problems she saw with the film: the onscreen struggle ofyet another thin, white woman.

"I can't relate to it at all," McCarthy said ofthe filmandportrayals of eating disorders in general.

"It'susually very thin, emaciated young white women who are experiencing these struggles, and it's really represented as the same symptoms over and over again," McCarthy said. "[In reality], thereare so many different struggles."

'Don't watch it alone'

As difficult as the film was to watch, many at thescreening felt a sense of accomplishment at being able to sit through the very personalsubject matter.The centre is considering organizing more screenings for other participants.

Rogers said she wasproud of herself for getting through it.

"It took a lot of courage to come in here and do this," she said.

However, she acknowledgedsome eating disordersufferers may not be ready to seeTo the Bone.

"Ifyou're really, really active in your eating disorder,don't watch this," said Rogers. "Don't watch it, and don't watch it alone."