B.C. First Nations prepare for PM's apology

As First Nations survivors of Canada's residential school system gather across B.C. on Wednesday to hear a long-awaited apology from the prime minister, crisis counsellors are standing by in case the event opens up old wounds for survivors.

Like many bands, the Nicola Tribal Association plans to bring its members together to watch the event live.

The association has set up big-screen televisions at the Merritt civic centre so its seven member bands can watch as Stephen Harper reads a statement in the House of Commons apologizing for the abuse aboriginalchildren suffered in thefederally financed, church-run residential schools. The eventwill be broadcast live on CBC television, radio and the webat noon PT.

In Terrace, residential school survivors will hold a morning discussion before watching the Commons proceedings. And in North Vancouver, First Nations Summit Grand Chief Ed John and Union of B.C. Indian Chiefs Grand Chief Stewart Philip will attend a cultural celebration to mark the historic apology.

John told CBC News he hopes residential school survivors will stand strong and face the apology head on, but said many First Nations leaders believe the apology could trigger more traumas for former students of the residential schools.

"There will be many that find this a difficult moment," said John. "We've lost too many in the depths of depression who've taken their lives, people unable to overcome the trauma, overcome the grief."

One survivor remembers living in fear

Herman Alpine spent his childhood at the St. Eugene residential school near Cranbrook, in B.C.'s southern interior.

He says the abuse started the day he arrived when a priest yanked his long hair and cut it off, and from then on, he lived in constant fear.

He remembers playing cars one day with his friends when all four of them were dragged up in front of the whole school by a teacher.

"He told us to drop our pants. and he proceeded to spank us with his strap ... and he said, 'You know why I'm doing this?' And we all said, 'No,'" recalls Alpine.

"He said, 'Because you were down there talking your language,'" said Alpine.

Alpine says he was beaten many times and he also suffered sexual abuse from other boys, which, he says, the priest allowed.

"Guys came to my bed ... and ... they ... did what they wanted ... I used to pray that he would catch these guys ... but he never did," he said.

Alpine said he carried a lot of hate and anger after he left school. He was an alcoholic and spent four years in jail.

But after 15 years of counselling and healing, Alpine said he has recovered. He feels he's one of the lucky ones.

The prime minister's apology already rings a bit hollow, Alpine said, because the federal government has refused to sign the UN Declaration on the Rights of Indigenous Peoples.

Apology could open old wounds, fear survivors

Charlie Cootes,chief counsellor of the Uchucklesaht First Nation anda residential school survivor, said he's past needing an apology to help him heal.

"I'm moving on in my life, and I'm trying to generate a good family life and future for my grandchildren and my kids."

Cyril Charles, a member of the Hupacasath First Nation,attended the Alberni Residential School on Vancouver Island from the time he was five until he was 16. He said the apology means little to him, but he believes it could actually be harmful to others.

"We spent 50 years trying to forget what happened there, and now, out of nowhere, they want us to bring up all these things again," said Charles.

Charlessaid many band members continue to struggle with social dysfunctions resulting from attending residential schools.

Both Koots and Charles said Wednesday's official national apology will have little effect on them. However, they're concernedthat it might affect others and can only hope it will be in a positive way, they said.

B.C.'s Assembly of First Nations has set up a toll free round-the-clock crisis hotline offering help in case the national apology reopens old wounds.

The number for the toll-free crisis line is 1-866-925-4419.