Blue Christmas in Vancouver gives grieving families reprieve from holiday cheer

A different kind of Christmas service in Vancouver is helping families cope with loss during the holiday season.

The Blue Christmas service is a get-together designed to support those who are in mourning during the holidays, like Tammy Dewar and Rob MacKay.

Dewar and MacKay lost their newborn daughter, Mara, to Sudden Infant Death Syndrome in October 2015. In the following weeks, the couple couldn't focus on anything but their grief.

"Christmas is about feeling happy, energetic, enthusiastic," Dewarsaid. "Last year, we weren't feeling that."

Thecouple decided to try attending aBlue Christmas service.

The sombre gathering, held at the Canadian Memorial United Church downtown, includescandle lighting and moments of silence.

The pair said the service was a welcome reprieve from the excitementof most Christmas events.

"It's time to be with [Mara's]spirit without caring aboutwhat's going on," MacKay said."Just sitting in solemn peace, it was quite helpful."

'A place to be calm, quiet'

Reverend Beth Hayard said she started holding the gatherings in Vancouver several years ago to offera space for grieving families to pause and reflect.

"This is one of the hardest times of the year to get through demands like show up with a happy face on are so great," Hayardsaid. "This just creates a place to be calm, quiet ...however you're feeling."

On Wednesday, Dewar andMacKay who have both been attending the church regularly went tothe Blue Christmas service for the second year.

"This yearis tough 'cause Mara should be with us and she's not," Dewar said."Everything we imagined isn't happening ... [Here]we get to be with peoplealso struggling and honour her."

The coupleis now expecting another daughterand say they're cautiously optimistic for the future.

"I'm excited, nervous and scared," Dewar said of being pregnant again."This is a moment to remember Mara and be at peace with the anxiety a new baby brings."

With files from Megan Batchelor