Dear Diary: Transitioning to 'adulthood' during a pandemic? It's not great.

CBCCalgarywants to knowhow you are living these days. What are you doing differently? What makes you laugh? Cry? Scream? Have you started a new hobby? Let us know.

Finishing high school and moving on to university is normally a time of excitement and celebration. In this instalment of our series, Dear Diary: In a Time of COVID-19, Rheya Patel tells us about the trepidation and uncertainty she's facing instead.

This submission has been edited for clarity and length.

Dear Diary,

It's been more than 55 days since school hasbeen cancelled, and honestly, it's not the greatest thing.

A lot of people say having school cancelled is like a vacation. Frankly, it isn't, far from it. I still have to finish all of my courses to ensure that I actually graduate this year. And speaking of that, it's hard to believe that graduation is cancelled as well. That one little hope that I held onto during this quarantine is just gone, slipping out of my fingers.

I miss my friends. These last few months that I wanted to spend with them before we had to say goodbye one final timewere taken away in the blink of an eye. This is definitely not how I imagined my transition into "adulthood"was going to look like. I thought that I would have a little more time before I had to well grow up. Guess that day came a lot faster than I thought.

The situation being what it is right now leaves me with lots of uncertainty. I may not be getting that desired turn-of-the-page to the next chapter in my life, I may not get that smooth transition into university like I would have wished to have.

I'm trying to keep my head up. I'm not sure how longer I can keep it up at this rate. Things seem to be going down so quickly that I can barely stay afloat. Nothing really good is coming out of all this. There's darkness but no such light at the end of this tunnel.

This is a game. A long, infinite game. One with no prize.

It's also approaching summer. I imagined spending nearly every second of it with friends and enjoying the sunand the weather a time where I don't have to worry about tomorrow and can just enjoy today. Clearly that's not going to happen.

Now I have to live in fear even if I merely stick a toe out of the threshold of these artificial walls that are keeping me "safe." Yes, I am safe but really it only provides a prison of my freedom, and a punishment to my youth.

I shouldn't complain about my personal issues. I should be thankful that I have what I do when there are so many who are most likely dealing with much worse.

I do wish to help those in need, I really do. But I just can't, the invisible barriers of physical distancing holding me back from helping those in need.

So for now I'm thankful to have a home to stay in that fulfils both wants and needs, along with an unaffected lifestyle apart from school.

To finish this off, I wish to thank all those on the front lines who put their own health at risk just to protect ours. From essential business workers, to police enforcement, to firefightersand medical personnel, thank you.

Stay safe, Calgary!!

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