Obituary website criticized for risking revelation of husband's death to dementia-suffering widow

An obituary website is being criticized by a Calgary family after an unauthorized tribute to their deceased father solicited unwanted flowers, which could have inadvertently revealed his death to their mother, who suffersfrom dementia.

The Laursen family submitted an obituary forfatherErikshortly after his death on July 4. The day after it was published on a Strathmorefuneral home website,an unauthorized obituarywas available on Everhere.com.

The site had previously posted unauthorized and inaccurate obituaries for victims of the Humboldt Broncos bus crash, and hasconnections to Afterlife, another obituary site which shut downearlier this year amid criticism.

My mother... would have found outinadvertentlythat her husband of over 60 years was no longeralive.- Rick Laursen

Everhere'sobituary actively solicited visitors to send flowers, while the version approved by the family included an explicit request that mournersdonate to charity in lieu of sending flowers.

"Potentiallythere could have been flowers showingup at the door [of the family home]," said Erik's son Rick Laursen.

"My mother... had she read the card, then she would have found out inadvertently that her husband of over 60 years was no longer alive."

Margaret Laursen'sdementiais connectedwith a series of mini-strokes she had previously suffered. According to son Rick, medical professionals have determined she must not be told of her husband's death to protect her own health.

"Any reminders of that, such as people coming to the house to offer condolences, would just be upsetting to her and would cause more permanent damage to the way her brain functions," said Rick Laursen.

"The most horrible thing I can imagine... like looting"

The family only found out about the unauthorized obituary when a close friend of their late father came across the obituary after a web search. Initially, neighbour Joseph Verba did not realize it was not legitimate.

"It looked very legit, it looked quite nice. When I was reading it there was something that just didn'tadd up because of the family situation, they did not wish to have any flowers, any condolences, sympathy cards of that sort delivered to the house," said Joseph Verba.

Verbalived across the street from the late Erik Laursenfor decades and calledhim "a second father." After he realizedthe obituary wasn't authorized or legitimate, he was emotional.

"This is the most horrible thing I can imagine. It's like looting," said Verba.

Obituary removed within a day

Rick Laursensays no flowers have shown up at his parents' home yet, and the obituary has been removed from Everhere after he filled out an online form to request its removal.

However, he calls Everhere'spublicationof his father's obituary "very deceitful" and says it caused a huge amount of stress, as this happened while he was managing his mother's health and planning his late father's funeral.

"Had it not been for my friend [Verba] warning me about this I would have been unaware," said Laursen.

Laursenwas hoping to speak with someone at Everhere about the situation but has not been able to make contact other than what he believes was an auto-generated email reply.

The website said...if it was important that I remove it quickly I should call them by telephone," saidLaursen.

"I did want to talk to them about it."

Everhere did not respond to multiple interview requests from CBC News.

• MORE CALGARY NEWS|How the Calgary Stampede makes and spends $150M per year
• MORE CALGARY NEWS|Bass music shakes Calgary woman's house
• Readmorearticles byCBCCalgary, like us onFacebookfor updates and subscribe to ourCBC Calgarynewsletterfor the day's news at a glance.