'It's about being allies': Defining masculinity during the age of #MeToo and #TimesUp

Advocates for equality say men's roles are shifting and it's about to get awkward.

Disrupting gender norms to create inclusive spaces was a goal of the three-day Make It Awkward Summit at the Westin Edmonton, which wrapped up Saturday.

The summit featured a variety of workshops on discrimination, racismand feminism.

JesseLipscombe,the summit's host andco-founder of the Make it Awkward campaign, questions the role of the modern man.

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He said heloves dancing, singing anddrawingpastimes often considered to be feminine.

"But, I'm also a jock and an athlete and have giant shoulders," Lipscombe said.

It's not easy to define the modern man, but he said peopleof all ages, races and genders need to discuss masculinity.

"All of usneed to figure out that we can accept all the range of emotions, be all the different versions of ourselves," Lipscombe said.

MasculinitiesStudies Research Professor Michael Kehlerpresented aboutmasculinity in the era of #MeToo and #TimesUp.

The University of Calgary instructor said he's hoping to engage people inthinking differently about gender relations.

"We need to stand alongside women and girls as allies, as friends, as supporters. Because to remain where we are and to feel that we are being attacked, is to deny the kind of violence against women and the kind of sexual harassment that has been part of a whisper culture around masculinities," Kehler said.

Historically, women have had less power than men, he said.

"The difficulty here is for men to think about giving up what, historically they assumed, was their power, their stage," Kehlersaid. "And the difficulty is in rethinking how we impose masculinity, how we enact or perform masculinities in our everyday interactions."

'Men need to be a part of the conversation'

Masculinity needs to move from a singular concept to one that's plural, and not restrictive, Kehlersaid.

"It's about finding the courage and the strength to be different, to speak up and to speak out about heteronormativity, about homophobia, about violence that occurs both towards and against men and women."

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Kehlersaid his presentation at the summitwas directed at allgenders. It highlighted how women need to support men in joiningdiscussions about gender, he said.

"Women have spoken up and taken the limelight and the stage, and men need to be a part of the conversation, or we'll go back to boys being boys. We'll go back to those locker room conversationsif we don't have men as allies."

Kehler, a father of two, said children alsoneed to take partin questioning traditional gender roles.

"The ways in which we talk to boys have to be authentic," he said."We have to show vulnerabilities in ourselves as parents, as men and women. We need to show them it's okay not to be like the rest of the boys because you don't need to follow that path if it's awkward."

Cameron Kizito, 13,said heattendedthis weekend's summit to learn how to make a change in the world.

"I know that there's racism, sexismand all those other isms out there that are affecting a lot of people, and there's not very much being done about it. SoI feel like this can really give me a chance to learn how to help people with those problems," Kizito said.

"We're all human beings, so if we all just treat each other the same, we'll be fine."

His 15-year-old sister, Jasmyne Kizito, agreed.

She said when she was younger, fathers in storybooks wereportrayed as being strong andtough.

"[Stereotypical father figures] would never cry,which is not the definition of tough," she said. "I feel like being tough is being able to acknowledge your feelings."

She said men don't have toidentify with traditional male norms if they're not comfortable with it.

"I hope that one day people can accept the fact that we are all human beings and we all have feelings, we all have emotions, and they can come together for it."