Transgender Hamiltonian proud to live in Ontario

In late February, Hamiltonian Debbie Woolridge was travelling by train to Montreal. It was a big trip she was going to make a significant change.

On a pit stop in Toronto, Woolridge stayed aboard and shared a car with a young woman decked out in Queens University gear. Woolridge didnt pay much attention to her, and made several calls. "I called my friends and talked about what it would be like [after the change]," she said.

As the student left the train in Kingston, she handed Woolridge a piece of paper. "This is yours," she said. Woolridge didnt recall dropping anything, but accepted it and opened it later during her trip. "It said, You inspire me," Woolridge said.

Woolridge is transgender and was travelling to Montreal for sexual reassignment surgery. When she was on the phone on the train, she spoke to friends about what it would be like after she fully became a woman. The Queens student overheard it all. They were later connected through the universitys campus newspaper and are now friends.

On Wednesday, the Ontario legislature passed an amendment to the Ontario Human Rights Code recognizing gender identity. Tobys Act was introduced by NDP MPP Cheri DiNovo. The bill is named after her friend and trans activist Toby Dancer, whom DiNovo lost to suicide. Ontario became the second jurisdiction in Canada, after the Northwest Territories, to add gender identity to the Human Rights Code.

Woolridge was there to see the Bill pass. "For me, that Human Rights Bill was my whole lifetime," she said. "It was an amazing feeling to be there, to actually watch history made and to see all three political parties come together, put their differences aside for equal rights for everyone." Wednesday was a gratifying day for Woolridge, but shes had quite the journey, she said.

Being transgender in Hamilton

Born and raised in Hamilton, Woolridge knew at age five she was meant to be female but lived as a male into her 40s.

Woolridge had a wife. They metwhile bowling, And she has children. In 1998 while on a trip to New York, Woolridge who was known then as Vern broke the news to her ex-wife thatshe was planning to transition to from male to female on national television.

"I told her that Ive felt like a woman all my life and that I needed to be that woman who I knew I was," she said. "It gets to a point where you need to be who you are, or you cant live." Woolridge no longer speaks with her ex-wife and currently has no contact with her children.

She started living as a woman full-time about six years ago and it hasn't been easy. "Its hard to get a job, even after transitioning," said Woolridge, who is currently unemployed. "Theres a fear of the unknown [for the employer]."

Housing is another problem. Woolridgelives in subsidized housing downtown. "I had an apartment," she said, and then paused. "It was almost violent. I had people chasing me with bedposts, so I needed to get out of there." Woolridge said she moved from apartment to apartment, to a rooming house and was even homeless for awhile. She found a safe place to sleep in the woods.

"You cant go on doing that," she said. "You need shelter."

Woolridge eventuallyfound her wayto a womens shelter but even there the rules weren't clear. The shelter didnt have any transwomen or a policy to accommodate them. So the staff drafted a new set of rules and allowed her to move in. That was two and a half years ago. "Shes become the Den Mother," said Deirdre Pike, a friend of Debbies. "Shes a great shining light for the women."

When Woolridge returned from Montreal after surgery, her friends from the womens residence where she lives met her at the train station and threw a party for her that night. "For me that meant a lot because there was my support," she said. "There are my friends who I fight for every day being there for me."

First day as a woman

Woolridge had her gender reassignment surgery on February 27. On her first full day back in Hamilton as a woman, she spoke at an event at city hall. It was March 8 International Womens Day. Woolridge talked about what it is like to be a transwoman, and the freedom the LGBTQ community has here compared to other parts of the world.

"What a way to celebrate my new life completely than on International Womens Day. Thats amazing. Its how things work," she said. "If you do good things and youre heart is in it, that payback comes. The payback doesnt have to be monetary, it doesnt have to be anything other than how things work."

Three months later, Woolridge is thinking about future opportunities, looking for a new place to live and potentially starting her own consulting company. She sits on a city advisory committee for LGBTQ issues, and advises the Hamilton Police Services board as well.

She goes back to speak to students at her former high school, Hillpark Secondary School, and does Positive Space training at various organizations around the city. Woolridge is 55 years old now, and says there is not much left for her to fight for, but she can keep fighting for others.

But it all goes back to the Bill, she said motioning to a copy she had promptly framed Thursday morning, and how transpeople can celebrate this new equality.

"This is Pride week in Hamilton. I couldnt think of a better or fitting way to celebrate that than the passage of this Bill."