'It haunts me': Addict reforms after friend dies of fentanyl overdose

Christian Haines found his roommate lying on his bed with her eyes wide open. But she was cold to the touch. Shewasoblivious to his cries.

On the edge of her mouth waspart of a fentanyl patch,one of several that Haines had helped her to score the night before.

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"She was dead. She'd been dead for almost 18 hours, " Haines told the CBC. "It was a gruesome scene. I will never forget it. I can always see it."

His friend fatally overdosed almost three years agobut the guilt that still lingers washed over him again this week when he read the CBC exclusive about Brittney Genaille, the Winnipeg woman who fatally overdosed in her North End duplex last month.

It was the part about Genaille's friends admittingthrough text messages andFacebookthat they fled the scene after watching her take fentanyl and collapse that prompted Haines to reach out with his insight.

"It will haunt them to the day they die like it haunts me."

Hainessaid he agreed to go public with his own story. He did not ask for anonymity because he wanted to raise awareness and try to save lives.

It's a "dangerous time to be a drug addict," he said. Fentanyl is everywhere and intime it will kill addicts, he warned.

Thought she was 'just high'

His demeanor was subdued during the interview. He rubbed his face. He rubbed his hands. At one point, hebroke down, though hequickly regrouped. Ultimately, he told his story.

Former addict is haunted by scene of friend dying

8 years ago

Duration 1:30

Christian Haines helped his friend get high on fentanyl, then watched her die from the drug. He is haunted by the memory and wants to warn others about the drug.

It was 2013 whenHaines' childhood friend agreed to move in and help pay the rent. Both of them were longtime addicts. On one night, however, Haines chose not to use. He was still coming down from a crystal meth high.

The roommate did some meth, mixed with Xanax to start. Then came the fentanyl. Haines watched as she ate one strip and watched her get groggy but through it all he said, "I thought she was just high."

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She went upstairs and into his bedroom. He went to sleep and the next day, to work. It was only when he returned home that he got a bad feeling.

"Her shoes were exactly where they'd been the night before. She was in the same position she was in the night before."

Her skin had darkened. Rigor mortis had set in. He called paramedics, but he knew it was too late.

'Cold-blooded killer'

When police launched an investigation, Haines expected to face charges.

"I thought for sure I would be charged with criminal negligence causing death, for sure."

In the end, he was not charged with anything. "I wasn't there when she collapsed," he said. "I didn't know she had collapsed."

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But he's gone through his own kind of hell in the fallout.

"I lost friends.I got death threats. I was called a cold-blooded killer."

Today, Haines is clean and sober. He hasn't touched drugs since his friend's death, but he still carries around her obituary notice and thinks about her every day.

It's another thing ugly about opiate addiction, he noted. Even if you're not the one who dies of the overdose, if you helped score those drugs, the memories will haunt you.