Manitoba residential school survivor says papal apology isn't part of his healing

WARNING: This story contains distressing details.

While some residential school survivors are beginningtheir journey to Alberta for Pope Francis'sfirst stop on his Canadian visit, others are choosing to stay home and lean on traditional ceremonies and teachings to heal.

That includes Sioux Valley Dakota Nation Elder Frank Tacan.

He was sexually abused while attending Pine Creek residential school, north of Sioux Valley in western Manitoba.He doesn't believe that theapology the Pope is expected to makefor the Catholic Church's role inCanada's residential school systemwill be sincere in part because ofongoing abuse in the church, he says.

"When you look at the reserves, there's churches on reserves and that abuse is still going on, especially sexual abuse," said Tacan.

After making an apologyfor the conduct of some members of the Roman Catholic Church in Canada's residential schools toFirst Nations, Inuit and Mtis delegations in Rome earlier this year, Pope Francis is travelling toCanada, where he is expected to make another apology.

He arrives in Edmontonon July 24 and willvisitthe former Ermineskin residential school, one of the largest residential school sites in Canada, the following day.

The papal visit will also include stops in Quebec and Iqaluit.

While some delegates travelling to see the Pope in Canada say it's part of a healing journey, Tacan says he has found thatin traditional teachings and ceremonies like sun dances, sweat lodges and smudging.

These ceremonies, and reconnecting with his culture through relearning his language, have saved his life, he says. A turning point in his healing was receiving his spirit name.

Tacan doesn't feel he would be personally impacted by an apology, and said he sees Pope Francis as "a simple man put on a pedestal."

"In our way of life, we don't put people on a pedestal. because we're all human beings in this world."

While hedoesn't feel heneeds to hear an apology to heal, he recognizes that there are many who do, and he hopes the Pope speaks from the heart.

'It's embedded in us': survivor

Throughout his healing process,non-Indigenous people have told him to "just get over it," Tacan said.

"My question to that is: how do you get over trauma? Show me how. If you can't, then don't say it. Because it hurts."

He recalls asking a spiritual leader why he was having a hard time healing from his trauma. He often felt significantly better after a ceremony, only for the pain to resurface later on.

The leader told him a story about a young sapling that had a barbed wire fence built around it. As the tree grew, the wire became embedded in the trunk and couldn't be removed; the tree had to live with it for the rest of its life.

That story resonated deeply with Tacan.

"It's [the trauma] embedded in us. We cannot get rid of it," he said.

200 Mtis citizens on their way to Edmonton

Andrew Carrier, a devout Catholic and a survivor of one of the day schools Indigenous children were forced to attend, left Winnipeg Friday morning on one of two charter buses traveling to Edmonton.

Travelling with him are 200 Manitoba Mtis Federationcitizens.

This will be the second time travelling to see the Pope forCarrier, who is vice-president of the Winnipeg Metis Association. He was a part of the Manitoba Mtis Federationdelegation that visited the Vatican in the spring.

As aCatholic and a survivor,the papal visit holds great significance for him.

"It's a road for healing and a road for reconnecting with our Catholic faith," Carrier said.

Support is available for anyone affected by their experience at residential schools or by the latest reports.

A national Indian Residential School Crisis Line has been set up to provide support for former students and those affected. People can access emotional and crisis referral services by calling the 24-hour national crisis line: 1-866-925-4419.