The dignity of life, the dignity of death

On the day SusanGriffithsdied, a hazy spring sun blanketed her. The Swiss Alps embraced her. And her descent into death was as languid as it was final.

But let me be clear. There was nothing romantic about the way she died. There was a lot of ugly about that day.And the pain her family felt afterwards? It was as burning as the toxic cocktail that Susan drank.

Susan, at 72, had multiple system atrophy. It's a rare disease, and would ultimately rob her of the ability to perform the most basic bodily functions. There is no cure.

Susan read the prognosis and saw the writing on the wall. She was likely destined for a wretched ending. She didn't want to stick around for it. But she didn't think she could pull off her demise on her own. And here in Canada, assisted suicide is illegal.

Which leads us to Switzerland, where assisted suicide is legal and foreigners are welcome to it. That led Susan toDignitas, a small, blue metal facility just outside Zurich, where a jovial man named Arthur, wearing Birkenstocksand jeans, would help Susan to die.

I was with Susan and her family that week in Zurich. Every now and then I revisit it in my mind. Not so much lately, but a lot in the beginning. Like a toothache that hurts to the touch, but you just have to keep poking it and prodding it, you know?

It was a hard day for the family, that final day. Not so much for Susan. She'd spent the night on the phone, calling loved ones in Winnipeg to say her goodbyes. She brushed her teeth, she put on her Mary Kay, she laughed a lot and wept a lot.

And to her loved ones around her? "Buck up," she said. And they tried, they really tried. Her daughter, her sons, their partners, her brother, her grandchildren; they all tried. They knew this was what she wanted. They understood why. And they supported her. So that made them feel better. Not the "a lot"better that they'd hoped for. But a bit, anyway.

The thing is, that picturesque setting I referred to earlier? It was almost as if there was a storm of sordid brewing in the air and every now and again you would get a glance atit.Like the doctor tasked with givingGriffithsthe "all clear"to die last-minute safety net, designed to confirm one final time that a person is fit to make the fatal decision. But this physician? He was actually a plastic surgeon. With a penchant for dressing up like the Joker in Batman (seriously).

Oh, and one more thing. Not once did the good doctor actually askGriffithsif she was certain about her decision. Not once. He just signed off on it. (For the record: right to the end, Susan made it abundantly clear that this was what she wanted.)

Dignitas

Then there'sDignitasitself. Allegations exist that urns containing ashes were disposed of into Lake Zurich. Or the deaths that went wrong. The delayed reactions to the fatal drink. (In one case, almost two hours, allegedly.)

And most recently? The Italian magistrate who showed up with a doctors certificate, noting he had a terminal illness. He therefore wanted an assisted suicide, and he got his wish. But it turns out, there was no medical condition. Physically, he was perfectly healthy. He just wanted to die.

Then there was the Blue Oasis. The inexplicably located greasy spoon serving up fried sausages to municipal workers on their lunch break, just metres from whereGriffithsdeath, was playing out atDignitas. Where Englishsongs blared from the radio at the cafe. Notably, first there was the theme song to Ghostbusters. Then,"Killing Me Softly."No joke.

And that, of course, leads up to the moments after SusanGriffithswas pronounced dead. Hertwo grandchildren walking away from the grounds, weeping. Escorted by their aunt and uncles, wandering slowly towards the train station back to Zurich. Her daughter, Natasha, and best friend, Cindy, cabbing it back to the hotel.

Natasha was pale. Dreading what faced her back home. Dreading the thought of cleaning out her mother's home. Putting it up for sale. She was supposed to do that before her mother died, but she couldn't, she told me. She held out hope, right to the end, that her mother would change her mind.

I know that those who advocate for enhanced palliative care services say that's where our attention should be; and they make a good point. According to the Canadian Hospice Palliative Care Association, fewer than 30 per cent of Canadians have access to hospice and palliative care.

• Doctor-assisted suicide: Winnipeg woman happy with Supreme Court ruling

And while when polled, most Canadians state they would rather die at home, surrounded by loved ones, in fact more than 70 per cent of us will die in a hospital. I am not so certain that is dying with dignity.

JimDerksencalled Friday's Supreme Court decision a "dangerous" one. One that could target vulnerable Canadians. "As a person with a disability, I often encounter people who wonder why I am happy," he said. "Don't I want to be dead? They call me courageous for breathing."

And this new law, he says, will "endorse" that point of view. That is frightening. I get that. And who am I to say he's wrong to feel vulnerable? But I also know SusanGriffithsalmost certainly faced agruelling,debilitating death and that too, would be frightening.

I do not advocate for or against physician-assisted suicide. But whether in Zurich, whether in Canada, whether by design or disease, when it comes to end of life, there should be dignity for those who want to live, with the help of enhanced palliative care. And for those who don't.

This new law the feds are now tasked with crafting? It mustincorporate protection for all. Including those who are not ill, but deemed vulnerable nonetheless.Dignity for all.

As I wrote in the beginning, there's nothing romantic about death.

JimDerksendeserves to live with dignity, Susan Griffithsdeserved to die with dignity.