Syrian woman builds better life through unlikely friendship with Saint John retiree and his wife

If all of your friends look like you, talk like youand are the same age as you, you can have a
good life.

But you're missing out on experiencesand perspective that could make your worldmuch richer.

Just ask Asrar Aldekas and Kevin Standing.

On the surface, the two Saint John residentsmay not seem like two people destined to bebest friends.

Standing, 57, is a born-and-raised New Brunswicker who recently retired due to medical reasons.

Aldekas, 29, fled Syria several years ago during the country's civil war, arrivingfirst in Lebanon, then in London, Ont. She eventuallylanded in Saint John in 2019.

Life in a war zone took its toll. "After war, very dangerous. Shelling, not safe. Always worry, many people die. Not safe. Very difficult," she said.

It wasn't much easier when she arrived on Canada'sEast Coast with no job, no friendsand no English or French.

Shehad left her younger brother, Bakir, behind in Lebanon.

"I don't have family here. This is very difficult for me," she said.

'Hire me. I need a job.'

Above anything else, Aldekas wanted to work. About a year ago, she walked into Jaco's, a pizza restaurant in north-end Saint John,where Standing and his friends hold an informal coffee club.

"She did not know any English, and she walked in and said, 'Hire me.I need a job,'" Standing recalled.

Fortunately, restaurant owner Jaco Khoury spoke Arabic. After Aldekas explained her situation, Khoury asked the group if she could sit down with them, to help her learn English.

Inviting a total stranger into their men's coffee club was "not a normal thing at all" for Standing and his friends. But he said headmired the "drive" he saw in Aldekas.

"I saw somebody who has a plan to do something. The plan is to make a life for herself, and bring her brother here," Standing said. "She endeared herself to us."

Giving her the tools

From conversations at thepizza shop, their friendship movedto Standing's home a few blocks away.

Standing, who is on dialysis for kidney disease, needed help with certaintasks. He and his wife, Tina Jane, saw that Aldekas took an immediate interest intheir odd jobs and building projects around the house.

Aldekas had done some carpentryand was interested in learning more, but power tools were a barrier for her. She had never used them before.

Standing, a hobby carpenter with an extensivecollection of tools, decided to teach her.

"I said, 'Watch what I do. I'm going to give yousafety glasses, I'm going to give you glovesand all of the tools necessary to build things.'"

In Syria, carpentry is a man's job, Aldekas said."Woman job for her teacher, job for doctor, her cook for children.Also engineer. Anything.But no carpenter."

The learning turned out to bea two-way street.

As Aldekas learned carpentry, sheintroduced Kevin and Tina JanetoSyrian foodandshared with them her passion forvegetable gardening.When she got acommunity garden plot, she "dragged me into that, too," Standing joked.

As the pair worked together over several months, Aldekas gained more confidence with the tools. She enjoys the precision the work requires.

"You must get everything correct, for no mistake," she said. "I work by myself. I learn."

Finding freedom

So far, Aldekas has helped to build a dog kennel, small woodworking projectsand planters for the community garden.

Their latest project is building and selling window boxes out of reclaimed cedar, with all of the proceedsgoing toward a fund to bringAldekas's brothersafely to Canada.

A fundraiser is also planned next monthat Saint John's Harbour Church, where the Standingsare part of the congregation.

"I was a Muslimbut am now Christian," Aldekas said. "This is my decision. Because I am here free in Canada, I can do what I need. I can choose what I need."

In Syria, she said, she wouldn't have been able tochange her religion.

"Canadian help me so much make me feeling safe," she said.

Next goal: Home Depot

Apart from bringing her brother to New Brunswick, Aldekas saidshe has two other big dreams.

The first, she said, is tostayin Saint John."Because I like Saint John. People here very nice, kind."

Her second goalis to find a job that will help her advance her carpentry skills."Hopefully I have job at Home Depot," she said.

WATCH | Syrian refugees reflect on war, new lives in Canada:

Syrian refugees reflect on a decade of war and their new lives in the GTA

4 years ago

Duration 3:41

This week marks 10 years since the conflict in Syria began. Approximately 75,000 Syrian refugees have since settled in Canada, and many of those people found a home in Toronto. Natalie Kalata has some of their stories.

Whatever the future holds for Aldekas, Standing saidshe'll always have"a special place" in his heart.

"I see someone who is willing to challenge expected norms,from where she came from, and do something better for herself. I like somebody like that," he said.

He calls learning from one another an"experience."

"Sometimes you have to get out of your safety zoneand try something new and you will be rewarded."