Stuff not getting done? Struggling to finish your plans? Here's what you need to know

We are all quick to blame ourselves when we don't accomplish the things we set out to do. We look at the goal and we look at ourselves and we decide that the gap between the two lies in some inherent flaw in our personality.

That sense of having an inherent flaw keeps us stuck. We speak harshly to ourselves, we despair about ever getting our important things done. We feel terrible but that feeling doesn't help us move forward.

That's because that approach keeps us focused on the wrong thing.

While in some cases, we may not have the skills, knowledge, or commitment we need to see a project through, most of the time, the flaw is not in us, the flaw is in our systems.

Isn't it funny how we will ask ourselves questions about whywe did or didn't do the things we set out to do but we hardly ever ask ourselves about howwe were trying to accomplish them?

Yet, if the systems we have established, consciously or unconsciously, do not support our plans, we will never get them done.

It's not a personal flaw, it's a mismatch between the what (the plan) and the how (the system).

Soif you're struggling to follow through on your plans, taking a look at your systems might just give you a path forward.

Sidebar: the suggestions below are intended to address our personal systems, the ones we use to make our way through the average day. These small suggestions cannot begin to address the larger economic/social forces and flawed systems that also affect our daily lives in complex ways. Obviously, we need to be aware of how those systems affect us (and to not blame ourselves for those effects) but suggestions for changes at that systemic level, while urgent and important, are beyond the scope of this type of article.

How do we identify the flaws in our systems?

Our personal systems aren't the only things that affect us;we all have varying degrees of control in different parts of our lives. However, when we take charge in any given area that we can, we can help ourselves to feel less stressed overall and better able to deal effectively in all the other areas.

The first step in taking charge of our own systems (and to changing them to lead us to the results we want) is to begin identifying any frustrating situations that stem from those flawed systems.

What situations lead to you feeling annoyed with yourself over and over again? What leaves you feeling overwhelmed? What sorts of things have you asking, 'Why did I do that again?'

Once you have identified those frustrations, trace your steps back through the system of actions and habits that led up to that moment.

This is not a time to be hard on yourself. Your current systems developed as a response to your needs at a given time and the information you had at that point. You can't blame yourself for not being able to see into the future and guess what you might need later.

Have a look at how you are gathering information for your projects, how you are trying to fit them into your schedule, what techniques you are using to plan and do your work, and if you are being realistic about your skills, time, and energy.

To use a very straightforward example,imagine that you have a recurring problem finding important papers when you need them. You could spend a lot of time and energy being hard on yourself about being careless or disorganized but it will just make you feel bad. It won't magically move your papers to a more logical place.

If, instead, you took a few minutes to think about how you handle the important papers that you bring home, and consider how to change that system to give you the results you want, you will have more success.Treating the the issue as a puzzle to solve makes it less personal and helps you find a more effective solution.

In the example above, your current system is not inherently wrong;it met your needs at one point (even if it was the need to not think about your papers in that moment) but it doesn't give you what you currently want: organized papers.

The disorganized papers problem isn't a personal failing;it's just a sign that it you need to adjust your system.

Sidebar: depending on your personal history, your experiences, and whether you have ADHD and/or executive function issues, you might not have had the opportunity to develop and practise the skills involved in creating effective systems.There is nothing wrong with working on your skills and capacity in this area at any time in your life;there is no deadline here.And it is OK to seek professional help when trying to work on these skills.Lots of people with ADHD/executive function issues get help, over and over, to create useful systems.

Adjusting your systems

Once you have identified the system you are using in a given area and why it isn't working, you can start to figure out how to change that system to serve you better.

Here are some ways to get started:

1.Transfer ideas and skills from something that *is* working

What areas of your life have well-functioning systems? Do you answer emails quickly? Keep ahead of the laundry? Are you always on time for appointments?

Have a look at what systems you are using in those areas and see what tools you can borrow for the parts of your life where you struggle a little. This approach lets you celebrate your strengths and build new habits by transferring existing ones to a new context.

2.Do some research

Given the number of coaches, organizers, and other strategy professionals online, a little Googling can bring up a long list of different ideas for shaping the system you need to support your plans.

You don't have to adopt someone else's system completely after all, they aren't living your life so they don't know exactly what you need. You can mix and match a variety of systems to create one that serves you best.

3. Ask for specific help

If you aren't able to identify the issues with your current system, ask a trusted friend to go through it with you and help you see what is going awry.

Be as clear as possible with your question.

If you have already figured out what is keeping your system from working, ask for ideas for that specific thing. "I always plan to exercise when I get home but once I am in the house, I get overwhelmed by the other things I have to do. Do you have any ideas about how I can go right to exercising instead of getting distracted?"

Make sure that you are asking someone who can listen for what you need instead of just telling you what they think is the right way to do it.

4.Use a template, modelor checklist

When trying to create a new pattern of behaviour, it can be useful to create a template, modelor checklist so you can clearly see all the steps to follow.

Eventually you won't need the guidelines but, in the beginning, they can be helpful. This is especially true if your new system needs further adjusting. Having each step clearly laid out can help you see where things start to go sideways.

After all,this is an experiment in changing your systems. It won't be one and done.

Tweak your existing system using the information that you have right now.Make a plan to check in with yourself later, to ensure your new system is delivering the results you want.

5.Don't blame yourself. Keep checking your systems

We picked up our systems from somewhere, either learning them from someone else or developing them over time, and since our brains love to save energy by using routines, they became habits and we stopped noticing that the systems even existed.

Ifthey aren't giving us the results we want, then it's not only OKto change them, it's necessary.

Just be kind to yourself in the process. Pretty please!

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