Trans representation is about more than coming-out stories. This film shows how to do it

This column is an opinion byRhea Rollmann,a writer, journalist and radio producer in St. John's. For more information aboutCBC's Opinion section, please see theFAQ.

When I came out as a trans woman and started to transition, I noticed a certain low-levelanxiety accompany me when I went into the world. Everyday activities groceryshopping, browsing in a bookstore, taking the bus made me feel nervous and unsettled.

It hadnothing to do with my being transI was happier than ever with who I was. I felt mentallygrounded and emotionally stable as never before. I was finally beginning to feel comfortablewith my body, thanks to the life-saving wonders of hormone therapy.

Rather, my sense ofunease had everything to do with thereactions of people around me the uncertainty andconfusion of a society still coming to terms with the fact that gender isneither binary, nor fixed, nor as simple as many of us were brought up to think.

That anxiety has lessened with time, in part with hormones and other transition-relatedcare, and in part because I began to feel more confident in my identityand care less about the confusion of others.

It's also thanks to the work of those who areactively building a more inclusive and educated society it's truly admirable how manystore clerks today eschew the old-fashioned "sir" and "ma'am" (which, let's be honest, werenever really appropriate in the post-Victorian age) for the very folksy and gender-inclusive "my friend,""my dear," or, in Newfoundland, "my love" which looks odd on the page, but said in a heartyNewfoundland accent it's the most natural greeting in the world.

But a similar kind of low-key anxiety continues to flavour my encounters with media andpopular culture, especially when trans people are the subject.

Pop culture strives to be diverseand inclusive incorporating a growing range of identities into film and television but all toooften scriptwriters slip into a handful of easily recognizable tropes.

Where trans characters areconcerned, this means plots invariably focus on coming-out stories. Drama centres on themes of rejection and exclusion, and misgendering is a plot device. Trans protagonists become afoil against which we are reminded of all the ways our society excludes and hurts themarginalized.

To watch any major streaming service, you'd think trans people's life experiencesconsist of nothing but perpetual coming-out stories. When I am told a movie deals with"trans issues," that low-level anxiety returns and I watch with gritted teeth, bracing myself forthese inevitable plot devices to appear.

Being transor having a trans childdoesn't mean those broader challenges go away, and thatis something pop culture creators often seem to forget.- Rhea Rollmann

Fortunately, the Canadian-Swiss film Something You Said Last Night steers clear ofthese overused tropes. Director Luis De Filippisis one of the exciting young filmmakers takingtrans filmmaking in new directions. The award-winning director and co-founder of the Trans Film Mentorship premiered her debut feature film at the Toronto International Film Festival inSeptember, where it won the 2022 Changemaker Award.

The film comes to the St. John'sInternational Women's Film Festival on Sunday.

Something You Said Last Night refuses to fall into conventional trans storytelling techniques,and it's refreshing. It's a reminder that filmmaking is driven by imagination, and imagination allows us to conceive new ways of telling old stories.

The story told in Something You Said LastNight is of a family struggling to maintain bonds of love and connection against all thechallenges posed by modern life. And although the key protagonist a 20-somethingdaughter named Ren is trans, her identity is not one of those challenges. She's accepted andloved by her feisty Italian-Canadian family case closed.

But acceptance doesn't mean life issmooth-sailing. Ren and her family face the same challenges we all do: a sputtering job marketdevoid of meaningful opportunities for the young, intergenerational conflicts driven by thecompeting desires of parents to protect and young people to assert autonomy, and the socialalienation of a world in which we live virtually on cellphones and social media sitesyet yearnfor the visceral: physical and sexual contact with others.

Being transor having a trans childdoesn't mean those broader challenges go away, and thatis something pop culture creators often seem to forget.

We learn through doing butwitnessing others navigate these struggles gives us a sense of how it might be done. SomethingYou Said Last Night reminds us that however challenging our lives may be, it is through ourconnection with others that we find the strength to move forward.

Our expectations of the social world are influenced by what we see onfilm and television.- Rhea Rollmann

Yes, we all feel resentmentand anger at today's world, the sting of missed opportunity and the acrimonious judgment ofothers. But we possess a powerful tool empathy that if used correctly can prove thematch of many of those negative emotions we encounter. Knowing when to open ourselves inempathy to others, and when to reject the compromises that would undermine our sense of dignitytherein lies the challenge of modern life.

It's a challenge this film deftly explores.

• We had one night to shoot our film's most important scene. Then it started pouring rain
• Luminary filmmaker Luis De Filippis is helping lead the charge for a new era of trans representation

Something You Said Last Night engages these issues in a big-hearted, tightly produced film thatnot only resonates with cis and trans audiences alike, but also reminds us we have more incommon than we do in difference. Remarkably, it's a debut effort for Carmen Madonia, who was named a TIFF Rising Star for her portrayal of Ren. Her performance is sublime, genuine,moving,and complemented perfectly by the talented cast surrounding her.

Her relationshipwith her sister in the film offers a beautiful, consummate example of the depth and complexity of sibling relationships poised awkwardly between love and rivalry, yet untouched by hate orbigotry.

The film doesn't ignore Ren's trans identity far from it but offers a more real and genuineportrayal of what it's like for a trans person moving through the world than cinema normallyprovides. This sort of representation matters. The tropes I repeatedly encountered in pop culture no doubt helped shape my own anxiety about leaving the house during those earlymonths of transition.

Our expectations of the social world are influenced by what we see onfilm and television.

When we move beyond the tropes and stereotypes, we realize just how rich life can be, and in this life truly imitates art. Director Luis De Filippishas crafted a perfectly wrought drama that eschews stereotypes without ignoring the ubiquitous contradictions ofmodern life.

It's a stirring reminder that what we should be focused on is not how others aredifferent from us, but how to understand and forge truly meaningful relationships with eachother. Relationships strong enough to last a lifetime, yet flexible enough to adapt to all thechanges that lifetime will bring.

See Something You Said Last Night at the Avalon MallCineplex on Sunday at 7 p.m.Tickets can be purchased online from the St. John's International Women's Film Festival, or join me for a brunch Q&A with Luisand Carmen (reserve your free seat here).

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