Nova Scotia cancer caregiver seeks grassroots community support

An Eastern Passage couple is sharing their story of dealing with a terminal cancer diagnosis, in hopes of creating a grassroots community of cancer caregivers willing to share their experiences.

Clyde Dauphinee was diagnosed with cancer in his tonsils in 2014. The cancer was caused by the HPV virus. Dauphinee went through radiation treatments, but the cancer spread to his lungs. He has recently been told that he has approximately two months left to live.

"I'm dealing with it, but my wife and many other people, no doubt are having the same issue of watching their partner deteriorate before their eyes and become weaker," Dauphinee said.

'Panic, fear'

Bet Taylor-Dauphinee has been caring for her husband throughout his illness.

"Basically what I went through was a lot of panic, fear," she said about first learning the diagnosis.

"I don't know if you ever really come to terms. Maybe just to some level of acceptance with what's happening. Because I suspect that it will go on, even after he's gone."

A grassroots community

Now Taylor-Dauphinee says she's seeking other cancer caregivers, hoping to create an informal community to share experiences and advice.

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The Canadian Cancer Society and Cancer Care Nova Scotia offer support groups for caregivers, but many of those meet once a month. Taylor-Dauphinee belongs to one, which meets at the Victoria Generalhospital.

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However, she has found she wants to connect with people more often, and on a more personal level.

"For me, I just feel at this point it's not enough. We're looking at end-of-life care," she said.

Reaching out

Taylor-Dauphinee says she's also connected with Caregivers Nova Scotia, which offers peer support groups to caregivers of patients with a variety of conditions.

"In cases like that there are groups of women who are caring for their spouses because they have dementia, or Alzheimer's," she said. "And there are similarities, but I think again it's a difference. Cancer is a really devastating disease that I think affects people in a certain way."

She would like to connect with families that are specifically dealing with cancer.

Increasing pressure

The couple is dealing with Clyde Dauphinee's diagnosis at a time when the caregiver support system in Nova Scotia is under increasing pressure.

"We are getting to capacity," said Angus Campbell, the executive director of Caregivers Nova Scotia. The organization of seven people offers peer support groups, workshops, and phone and online support in 20 communities across Nova Scotia.

However, Campbell said in the last two to three years, his organization has seen its membership increase 15 times. He attributes this growing need partially to an aging population.

'It's going to happen to every one of us'

Taylor-Dauphinee said she thinks many people even in the cancer care community have difficulty talking about death and dying. But she thinks talking about the final stage of life is a practical need.

"It's going to happen to every one of us," she said. "I guess it just depends on how you want to live with that, and through that. And whether or not you're willing to face it."

Dauphinee said he has come to terms with his diagnosis, but he worries about supporting his wife.

"I would be so thankful if she could achieve just this little thing that she's trying to do," he said.