Mother's Day 'bittersweet' for moms of stillborn babies

Amanda Lester thought she'd be celebrating this coming Mother's Day with her husband, son and newborn daughter.

Instead, she's grieving.

In late March, 36 weeks pregnant, Lester said she didn't feel quite right. She visited her midwifeand found out the baby had no heartbeat.

"It's very bittersweet. I have a two-year old son so I feel very blessed to have him, to be able to celebrate being his mom.But at the same time, its hard. I'mMavie'smom as well and she's not here," said Lester.

Courtney Johnston has a similar story. At 41 weeks, she went into labour in early March and delivered a son who had died in utero. He was her first child.

Johnston expects this Mother's Day is going to be tough.

"People struggle with what to say," she said. "Don't ignore the elephant in the room and hide from us."

"We carry it everyday"

The two women met at the Late Loss Bereavement SupportGroup at Mount Sinai Hospital and are appealing to people to includethose coupleswho've lost a child when celebrating this Mother's Day.

"This has caused me to look at it very differently," said Lester. "My heart breaks for all the mothers who don't haveone of their children here."

Johnston acknowledged that it's an uncomfortable subject on a day focused on celebratingmotherhood but said she still feels like a mother despite the fact her child didn't survive.

"Any type of recognition that feels good for friends and family, that feels like it makes sense:a phone call, a card in the mail, a text message, aphoto of something beautiful saying, 'Hey, I'm thinking of you,'" said Johnston.

Lester added, "We carry it every day that we're missing our children, so if anything, it reminds us that people remember that they were here with us and we just carry them differently now. They're in our hearts instead of our arms."