Sgt. Russell's widow reflects on 'difficult year'

On the one-year anniversary of her husbands death, the widow of Toronto Police Sgt. Ryan Russell told CBCs Metro Morning of a difficult year adjusting to life as a single mother.

Russell, a 11-year veteran of the Toronto Police, was killed on Jan. 12, 2011, after he was run over and killedby a stolen snowplow.

The death of Russell, 35, triggered an outpouring of grief at apublic funeral attended byabout 12,000 people, including uniformed members of police forces from across North America.

His death also left Christine Russell alone to raise the couples son, Nolan, who had just turned two when his father was killed.

'It's been a long year'

Christine Russell spoke with Metro Morning host Matt Galloway to reflect onthe day her husband died and the difficultyear that followed.

"Its been a long year," she said. "So many firsts, going through them by myself. Im used to being married to a shift worker, so youre used to spending so many nights and weekends and holidays alone then all of a sudden, youre alone all the time."

"So it was that quietness in the house. Doing everything by myself, all the grocery shopping, taking care of Nolan, doing all the baths. Its just a major life adjustment and you dont have any warning."

'I knew something was drastically wrong'

Galloway asked Russell about her memories of the day her husband was killed.

"I remember everything that day," she said. "Driving to work and the conditions on the road, it was dark. I was on the Gardiner and I remember getting the phone call from his friend. They were parked in my driveway at home, trying to tell me in person.They didnt have to say anything, it was the tone of the phone call. I knew something was drastically wrong."

Galloway asked Russell how her son is dealing with the sudden loss of his father at such a young age.

'It was the tone of the phone call. I knew something was drastically wrong.' Christine Russell recalls the morning her husband was killed

"Eventually he figured out that daddys not coming home any more, and hes not around," she said. "I showed him pictures and explained that he had been killed by a snowplow and that he went to heaven. I was trying to [convey] that concept, that hes not here, but hes somewhere else and hes safe and he still loves you and will be watching over you."

"Hes pretty familiar with police and photos. Whenever he sees Canada flags he thinks of his Dad. He calls them Daddys flag, hell point up at the moon and hell say Oh, thats daddys ball. He thinks hes up in the sky somewhere, which I think is perfect."

Moved by mourners

Russell also reflected on the day of her husbands funeral, when downtown Toronto streets filled with mourners.

"As we curled down University Avenue, it was dead silent. I just couldnt believe how many people were standing there. It was the regular citizens that were there; I expected it just to be uniforms. There were so many everyday people that had left work and had shown up and lined the streets and that meant a lot to me."

As she enters the second year without her husband, Christine Russell said she will reflect on the anniversary of Ryans death during a quiet gathering with close friends and family.

"This past year there has been a lot more public events and Im looking forward to just getting some privacy back in my life," she said.

"There will be a gathering with our most intimate friends. Nothing formal, just something thats finally private for us to sit back and give cheers to a guy that we loved."