Will Anyone Really Ever Be The Same After The Pandemic?

I’m not the same person I was pre-pandemic.

I don’t think anyone in my family is.

As you know, change has come not just from the passage of time, but the pandemic that occupied that time. 

Many of us are different, changed, as a response to this world-altering event. Trauma, a global event — whatever you call it, that can change a person.

Of course, how these shifts occur, and their magnitude, has varied for each person in my life.

One family member has become more social, increasingly seeking new experiences — and even some slightly risky behaviour. Which doesn't feel too far out of left field, after so long playing it safe and relying mostly on family for interpersonal interaction.

Another former social butterfly has withdrawn, uncertain of how to navigate social situations in a yes, no, maybe-so spectrum of vaccination status. This is, I think, especially relevant for younger kids not yet 12 or 12 and over but vaccine hesitant.

Paul Simard was having a very tough pandemic, raising a family and just trying to keep his head above ground. Until he let go.

How Do I Do This Again?

As for me, I’m totally out of practice with work and social routines.

Recently, when it was safe to do so, I visited my two sisters for a backyard lunch. As a lovely surprise, my mom was there as well.

I also had the chance to catch up with my brother-in-law and two nephews. It was so great to see everyone again, and yet I felt in shock — numb, even. I had sensory overload. I craved this stimulus and was still overwhelmed by it. I could feel the rustiness of my skills in interacting with multiple people.

How will I deal with large parties, holiday gatherings and crowds? Will I ever get used to this again? How will my kids cope with returning to full day, in-person school, and my son navigating a second year in high school? Will I be able to help them to do so?

Back to the Work-Life Balance Dance

Looming in the background is also the imminent return to work after working remotely in a virtual setting.

Remote work is all I’ve known for the last seven years. It’s the only thing that works for me as a mostly single parent living more than an hour’s commute from the workplace.

The thought of balancing even more work and parental demands is exhausting, especially to my post-pandemic self, who very much wishes to leave these societal stressors far behind.

Is parenting endlessly blissful? Or have you cried today? Zehra Kamani has felt out of place because of parents on social media.

Evolution — Not Just for Finches

So, how to cope?

I’ve decided to get to know my family and myself all over again.

I’m trying to not assume that I know what my kids will like or dislike, just because that is how things were before the pandemic.

I’m attempting to listen to what they are telling me and to adapt, along with helping them find ways to navigate the reopening world and their new selves.

I’m reminding myself not to pigeonhole my kids, or inflict my interests or desires onto them, especially not now. I’m open to their new taste in music, way of dressing, evolving or devolving friendships, and how they want to spend their free time.

Catching Up With Myself

At the same time, I’m spending time with myself — just me. The new me. Getting to know her.

Different things matter to me now. As much as I’ve tried to stop time and change, time kept on going, leaving unalterable shifts in my family dynamics and the way I respond to them. So I’m carving out space for interactions with my family members, getting to know each other in a new way. And that includes me.

Nobody provided a blueprint for dealing with the personal changes brought about by the pandemic. There is no vaccine to help prevent feeling slightly adrift as life slowly starts up again.

We all talk about how the world, especially the work world, has changed drastically. Why would it be any different for us as individuals?

Kirstin Weerdenburg Yeh is an emergency doctor who saves children's lives, and her mission remains the same during the pandemic: protect kids.

No GPS for Navigating a Post-Pandemic Society

In my family, we’re learning new things about ourselves every day as we observe how we react to the unique experience of a world awakening from a pandemic. For us, it doesn’t make sense to assume that the way we used to do things will apply to our new selves. We’re going to figure out how it all works as we move forward.

I’m making time for a lot of new activities and experiences now that they are finally on offer. One of those is getting to know the new me, and honouring how I now approach life.

Have you made space for this task on your to-do list?