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Posted: 2020-08-23T22:39:31Z | Updated: 2020-08-23T22:39:31Z

Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy.

Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more!

Heres a little song I wrote about doing the kids laundry its called Why Are There Seashells in the Lint Trap We Dont Even Live Near an Ocean and a one and a two

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Heres a little song I wrote about doing the kids laundry its called Why Are There Seashells in the Lint Trap We Dont Even Live Near an Ocean and a one and a two

Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) August 17, 2020

My kids could fart and my father-in-law would be like, Great job! Heres five bucks.

SpacedMom (@copymama) August 20, 2020","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"SpacedMom","author_url":"https://twitter.com/copymama","cache_age":86400,"description":"My kids could fart and my father-in-law would be like, Great job! Heres five bucks. 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My kids could fart and my father-in-law would be like, Great job! Heres five bucks.

SpacedMom (@copymama) August 20, 2020

A few years into being a parent you discover there is virtually zero difference between the sound of siblings happily playing together and the sound of siblings viciously trying to murder each other.

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A few years into being a parent you discover there is virtually zero difference between the sound of siblings happily playing together and the sound of siblings viciously trying to murder each other.

Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) August 20, 2020

One of the hardest parts of teaching your kids to be independent is watching them tie their shoes for 8 minutes.

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One of the hardest parts of teaching your kids to be independent is watching them tie their shoes for 8 minutes.

Simon Holland (@simoncholland) August 20, 2020

This is evil but nothing makes me happier than knowing a super healthy chef-type person I follow on Instagrams kids hate the healthy food at their house and binge Doritos when they visit their friends

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This is evil but nothing makes me happier than knowing a super healthy chef-type person I follow on Instagrams kids hate the healthy food at their house and binge Doritos when they visit their friends

Mindy Kaling (@mindykaling) August 20, 2020

I try be honest with my kids in all situations unless I hear the ice cream truck coming in which case the music means theyre all out of ice cream.

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I try be honest with my kids in all situations unless I hear the ice cream truck coming in which case the music means theyre all out of ice cream.

Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) August 21, 2020

We are driving an hour away to a 9 AM appointment at a drive-thru exhibition called Jurassic Quest.......if this kid doesnt take care of me in my old age I swear to god

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We are driving an hour away to a 9 AM appointment at a drive-thru exhibition called Jurassic Quest.......if this kid doesnt take care of me in my old age I swear to god

josie duffy rice (@jduffyrice) August 16, 2020

All the grandparents out there watching grandkids while they attend virtual schooling: nows your chance to teach them cursive.

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All the grandparents out there watching grandkids while they attend virtual schooling: nows your chance to teach them cursive.

Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) August 18, 2020

More like detachment parenting am I right?!?

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More like detachment parenting am I right?!?

amil (@amil) August 16, 2020

I tracked 16s phone to see if he was where he was supposed to be. He was not. So I called 16 and asked where he was. He named the place he was supposed to be. I said oh REALLY? And the sound of his sighing realization that technology is a real bitch literally made my whole day.

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I tracked 16s phone to see if he was where he was supposed to be. He was not. So I called 16 and asked where he was. He named the place he was supposed to be. I said oh REALLY? And the sound of his sighing realization that technology is a real bitch literally made my whole day.

Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) August 18, 2020

Any jeans can be mom jeans if theres random legos in the pockets.

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Any jeans can be mom jeans if theres random legos in the pockets.

Jessie (@mommajessiec) August 18, 2020

My kids giving me a dare while playing truth or dare:

I dare you to drink a whole glass of water without taking a breath...well, you should take breath...just drink it in thirty seconds...and if you cant, its ok, nothing happens!

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My kids giving me a dare while playing truth or dare:

I dare you to drink a whole glass of water without taking a breath...well, you should take breath...just drink it in thirty seconds...and if you cant, its ok, nothing happens!

Andrew Knott (@aknott21) August 18, 2020

parenting is cooking food to a safe internal temperate and then waiting three hours until it cools back down to a temp my child can tolerate

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parenting is cooking food to a safe internal temperate and then waiting three hours until it cools back down to a temp my child can tolerate

That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) August 15, 2020

9yo asked why Big Brother was called Big Brother and was extremely baffled by our explanations. I admit its a bit weird to hear oh yes this funny reality show is named after the murderous totalitarian villain from a classic dystopian novel

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9yo asked why Big Brother was called Big Brother and was extremely baffled by our explanations. I admit its a bit weird to hear oh yes this funny reality show is named after the murderous totalitarian villain from a classic dystopian novel

Anne Thriault (@anne_theriault) August 17, 2020

Being stuck at home with my kids all year means my Spotify 2020 Wrap Up is gonna be all kinds of fucked up.

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Being stuck at home with my kids all year means my Spotify 2020 Wrap Up is gonna be all kinds of fucked up.

Arianna Bradford (@TheNYAMProject) August 19, 2020

Teacher: There are 14 slices of bread in a loaf. What are the odds that your sandwich will have both of the end pieces?

Dads: 100%

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Teacher: There are 14 slices of bread in a loaf. What are the odds that your sandwich will have both of the end pieces?

Dads: 100%

Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) August 18, 2020

Me, to son: Let me open that Capri Sun for you; theyre tricky.

*pokes straw through side*

Damn! Get me another.

*stabs through side again*

DAMMIT! One more-

*pokes straw through the side*

Have some milk; its healthier.

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Me, to son: Let me open that Capri Sun for you; theyre tricky.

*pokes straw through side*

Damn! Get me another.

*stabs through side again*

DAMMIT! One more-

*pokes straw through the side*

Have some milk; its healthier.

Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) August 18, 2020

So Will and I just tried to explain to our 3 year old what we do for a living. She was not impressed. #ToddlersAreSavage

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So Will and I just tried to explain to our 3 year old what we do for a living. She was not impressed. #ToddlersAreSavage

Audra McDonald (@AudraEqualityMc) August 16, 2020

True story. As a kid I had a marble collection. I kept it for 30 years and gave it to our first kid when he was old enough. Sadly they constantly ended up all over the house. Worried that our 3yo would choke on one I threw them away. My kids have literally made me lose my marbles

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True story. As a kid I had a marble collection. I kept it for 30 years and gave it to our first kid when he was old enough. Sadly they constantly ended up all over the house. Worried that our 3yo would choke on one I threw them away. My kids have literally made me lose my marbles

ThreeTimeDaddy (@threetimedaddy) August 17, 2020

8-year-old: How many doughnuts can I have?

Me: One.

8: One total or one at a time?

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8-year-old: How many doughnuts can I have?

Me: One.

8: One total or one at a time?

James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 19, 2020

Just went & picked up our school supplies.

A pack of sticky notes & a handle of vodka.

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Just went & picked up our school supplies.

A pack of sticky notes & a handle of vodka.

Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) August 18, 2020