Is there such a thing as boxed beer, and if not, why not

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[morning after my brother's bachelor party]

Me: I'm never drinking again.

Brother: Want a beer?

Me: Yes.

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people are so anxious for bars to re-open like they don't know you can charge yourself double for a beer and stare at your phone at home too

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putting a beer in the freezer when you have ADD is dicey

Imani Gandy (@AngryBlackLady) July 30, 2020","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Imani Gandy ","author_url":"https://twitter.com/AngryBlackLady","cache_age":86400,"description":"putting a beer in the freezer when you have ADD is dicey Imani Gandy (@AngryBlackLady) July 30, 2020\n\n","options":{"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"Imani Gandy on 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I'm impressed with who I become when I don't have an opener for a bottle of beer

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New game: \"Imported Craft Beer or Influential Philosopher?\"

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\"I can do that. Hold my beer\" - My last words, probably.

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Ever had beer so good that 2 sips in you're ready to quit your job, buy all that stuff in your Amazon wish list and move to an island??

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Today is the 2 year anniversary of me chipping my front tooth on a beer bottle to impress a guy who it turns out already had a girlfriend.

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beer commercial: this is beer.

me:

beer commercial: but what if we told you this beer was brewed by the finest brewmasters in amsterdam with hops grown from the corpses of the second-finest brewmasters in amsterdam?

me:

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Wife: We need a new fridge.

Me: This is a terrible day.

Wife: You can use the old fridge as a beer fridge.

Me: This is the best day of my life.

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Me, pouring beer: Im gonna have a beer, want one?

Husband: its so hot out arent you worried itll get warm

Me, putting down the now empty glass: sorry what?

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ME: ugh how did I get so drunk last night
*flashback to me drinking a lot of beer for hours*
ME: I guess we'll never know

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Home Depot Employee: Sir, youre not allowed to drink beer in here.

Me: [in display shower] How else am supposed to test this out?

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Quick shoutout to beer: you've been fucking amazing throughout this whole ordeal.

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Here's to all the Americans who think Sam Adams was one of the Founding Fathers

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[Inventing beer]
I wanna drink bread
\"What?\"
Make it look like pee
\"Uh ok\"
& get drunk off it
\"Wtf\"
& if you make it it's all you talk about

Michael (@Home_Halfway) September 1, 2015","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Michael","author_url":"https://twitter.com/Home_Halfway","cache_age":86400,"description":"[Inventing beer]I wanna drink bread\"What?\"Make it look like pee\"Uh ok\"& get drunk off it\"Wtf\"& if you make it it's all you talk about Michael (@Home_Halfway) September 1, 2015\n\n","options":{"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"Michael on 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macklemore looks like how an IPA tastes

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me, drinking a beer: you know what would go great with this, a beer

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hate when people say don't give bread to ducks cuz its bad for them. Beer is bad for me but I'd love people to randomly throw it at my house

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One step closer to beer cereal.https://t.co/6gKAxFGRoD

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I just said that would be a good breakfast beer so this is going to be a pretty good vacation

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3-year-old: *hands me a plastic golf club* Want to play golf?

Me: I don't know.

3: *hands me a can of beer*

Me: I'm in.

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I respect craft beer but I only drink art beer.

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Yesterday, I bought a 24 oz. can of beer from a gas station and I'd like to thank #BankofAmerica's fraud alert team for calling me out @ it.

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What's the better coffee for Sunday morning? A stout or a wheat beer?

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*pours Coors Light on ant hill* Party on, little dudes!

Mary Charlene (@IamEnidColeslaw) October 28, 2012","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Mary Charlene","author_url":"https://twitter.com/IamEnidColeslaw","cache_age":86400,"description":"*pours Coors Light on ant hill* Party on, little dudes! 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thank you to the craft bartender who heard my request of i want a beer that sucks and straight up tastes like nothing and didnt laugh at me and just gave me his worst, cheapest beer, thanks todd, thank you

Scaachi (@Scaachi) February 25, 2019","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Scaachi","author_url":"https://twitter.com/Scaachi","cache_age":86400,"description":"thank you to the craft bartender who heard my request of i want a beer that sucks and straight up tastes like nothing and didnt laugh at me and just gave me his worst, cheapest beer, thanks todd, thank you Scaachi (@Scaachi) February 25, 2019\n\n","options":{"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"Scaachi on 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If it weren't for Sam Adams I would have no idea what season it was.

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A woman with long talon nails was buying cans of Bud Light Lime-A-Rita, so I'll be spending all weekend worrying how she got them open.

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Wife: Im heading to the store. Do you want anything?

Me: A sense of meaning and purpose in my life.

Wife: *adds beer to the grocery list*

James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 21, 2016","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn","author_url":"https://twitter.com/XplodingUnicorn","cache_age":86400,"description":"Wife: Im heading to the store. 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Me: Want a beer

Neighbor: Sure

Me: I have Coors light on tap

N: What else do you have

Me: A strong feeling I'm not gonna like you

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at the grocery store and the guy in front of me is buying a case of Budweiser and 4 bags of walnuts. SOMEONE KNOWS HOW TO PARTY

Mary Charlene (@IamEnidColeslaw) November 23, 2013","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Mary Charlene","author_url":"https://twitter.com/IamEnidColeslaw","cache_age":86400,"description":"at the grocery store and the guy in front of me is buying a case of Budweiser and 4 bags of walnuts. 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My husband leaves random beers around the house like Im on some kind of degenerate Easter egg hunt pic.twitter.com/vOeEtIm2dG

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I need a beer. And possibly a sledgehammer

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