Bye! Wash your hands! Love you! Wash your hands! - Me every morning basically

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Me: Did you wash your hands?

4-year-old: No.

Me: Why are your hands wet?

4: I licked them.

That should kill the germs.

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For the first time since my 13 yo son began eating solid foods, I did not eat his leftover pizza crusts. #Coronavirus is real.

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While I am worrying about not touching my face, I am watching my kid and every other kid touch just about every surface on this Earth without a care in the world.

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Me: So there are a lot of scary viruses going around and we need to wash our hands a lot, ok?

My kids: Meh

Me: Thousands of people are dying and all you need to do is wash your hands

My kids: You said everyone dies someday

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Im no fan of the coronavirus but the mere mention of it did finally convince my son to stop using his hands to eat ravioli so lets not rush to judgment

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It might seem like Im stockpiling groceries over coronavirus fears, but the groceries in my shopping cart are probably only going to last my 11 year old through this Tuesday.

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5-year-old: I know if youre old or weak, you can die from the coronavirus. So, if grandad was still alive, he could die from coronavirus...but he already died.

Hes brilliant at finding silver linings.

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My 6mo loves to try and put his 3yo brother's entire nose into his mouth, and neither of them want their runny noses wiped, so coronavirus prevention is going really well at my house.

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9-year-old said she heard cornavirus was made up by adults to trick kids into washing their hands.

I asked who told her this and she said, A kid at school.

Now I just pray this kid doesnt know how to post a Twitter thread.

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\"Parenting in the Age of Coronavirus\"
A one-act play by me and my kid

Kid: \"At recess, we played this fun game called Infection\"
Me: \"THAT SOUNDS VERY DANGEROUS YOU SHOULD NOT PLAY THAT\"
Kid: \"Mama, calm down, it's basically tag\"
Me: *dies of anxiety anyway*

FIN

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Everyones worried about having enough food and supplies at home during a potential Coronavirus quarantine and all Im thinking about is what the hell am I going to do with my kids all day everyday indefinitely????

Ilana Wiles (@mommyshorts) March 6, 2020","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Ilana Wiles","author_url":"https://twitter.com/mommyshorts","cache_age":86400,"description":"Everyones worried about having enough food and supplies at home during a potential Coronavirus quarantine and all Im thinking about is what the hell am I going to do with my kids all day everyday indefinitely???? 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Me: The important thing is that we get real good about washing hands and make sure NEVER EVER to touch our faces.
Kids: *nodding in agreement while both IMMEDIATELY start rubbing their eyes.*
Me: Oh fuck it, we're all going to die.

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Talk to your kids about the coronavirus.

My 8 yo daughter came home and matter-of-factly told us that the coronavirus comes from Canada, per her reputable 2nd grade source

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Parents: No shake hands. No hugs. #coronavirus is spreading.

Kids : pic.twitter.com/TxTyPQtqjC

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Aminah just told Miles he needs to bathe. Do you want the corona virus?!

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Am I the only one who wants a coronavirus plush toy? Look at this cutie! pic.twitter.com/leZqfirGlM

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Someone asked me if I was concerned about getting the coronavirus.

I was exposed to the germs my kids brought home from Chuck E. Cheese birthday parties. You cant scare me.

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CDC: Dont touch your face
Me to my kid every 20 minutes: pic.twitter.com/Yv8NT2ZlcH

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A coworker just told me that if I go traveling I better get a coronavirus mask now before they run out

Or at least I think thats what he said.

Cause as a dad of young kids, I started involuntary PTSD-convulsions after he said travel.

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Me: Wash your hands.

4-year-old: I don't have germs.

Me: Yes, you do.

4: I'm not a boy.

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At my kids school they made their recess game of tag into coronavirus and it is now called a carrier.

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The 5yo just told me her friends were eating sand today and actually she ate some too, just a clump. So coronavirus education going great here.

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*whispers* if my kids have to stay home from school because of coronavirus does my deadline get extended

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Kids know they aren't getting the #coronavirus and they're excited to infect the rest of us.

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Costco stopped serving samples because of the coronavirus, so now I have to actually feed my kids this weekend.

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Are you texting, snapping, and meme-ing your kids to wash their hands?

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Things might seem bad and scary, but weve already gotten through the worst of this, that first month when all the cool dads were making corona beer/coronavirus jokes.

Jennifer (@jendenbrat) March 4, 2020","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Jennifer ","author_url":"https://twitter.com/jendenbrat","cache_age":86400,"description":"Things might seem bad and scary, but weve already gotten through the worst of this, that first month when all the cool dads were making corona beer/coronavirus jokes. 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My daughters are making plans for when I catch coronavirus (youre bound to get it, some kid is always hugging you, coughing in your face or licking your arm)

As long as I have hot drinks and a pile of books to hand, two weeks in the shed doesnt sound too awful really...

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Waiting to board at JFK, kids letting off a little steam

Playing a variation of tig they play at school. Seems fine to me.

The name of the game....Coronavirus

The look on the faces of the people around them every time one of them wins pic.twitter.com/J5cQzaihZF

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Son: Daddy, did you know 3 people in our state have the coronavirus?

I know

Son WE HAVE TO ELIMINATE THEM

Ummmm do you mean quarantine?

Son: No they must be killed so it doesnt spread

Im thinking theres some panic & misinformation going on in the middle schools

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Just walked out of the gas station and I told my kid to back into the door with her booty instead of opening it with her hands and this lady starts singing Wont you back that ass up? and opens the door for us with her butt. Ive literally never had more respect for someone.

Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) March 9, 2020","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Mommy Owl","author_url":"https://twitter.com/Lhlodder","cache_age":86400,"description":"Just walked out of the gas station and I told my kid to back into the door with her booty instead of opening it with her hands and this lady starts singing Wont you back that ass up? and opens the door for us with her butt. Ive literally never had more respect for someone. Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) March 9, 2020\n\n","provider_name":"Twitter","title":"Mommy Owl on 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Im worried about coronavirus but my babys head is in the 96th percentile and his body is in a regular percentile so when he sits up his head bobbles around like Harry Caray.

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10 had to write a paper on stopping the Corona Virus. His solution? We should go back to traveling on horse back bc, the fresh air will do us good and itll take longer to get where you are going so that gives more time for doctors to figure this out.

Make him President now.

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The coronavirus began and spread originally from a Chuck E Cheese.

Facts.

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