Prevent Your Own Jeffrey Toobin Zoom-Dick Incident By Doing Literally Anything Else

Like it or not, Jeffrey Toobins Zoom-dick incident was inevitable.

Nearly eight months into the COVID-19 pandemic in a world of virtual Thanksgivings, work meetings and happy hours, we were due for a high-profile technological gaffe. In 2020, a huge chunk of our lives takes place through a screen, and at some point someone important somewhere was going to do something wrong while the camera was on.

But none of us were quite ready for the Zoom-dick and how it played out. A quick recap in case you missed the furor Monday: New Yorker and CNN journalist Jeffrey Toobin reportedly exposed himself during a Zoom video conference meeting meant to simulate the U.S. presidential election last week. Toobin, who was playing the role of the courts, thought the camera was off and, well, it certainly wasnt. Hes been suspended from the magazine and higher-ups are investigating.

And thats how #ZoomDick ended up trending for most of yesterday.

there are people who get off on electoral politics, and then, there are people who *get off* on electoral politics

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there are people who get off on electoral politics, and then, there are people who *get off* on electoral politics
foster kamer. (@weareyourfek) October 19, 2020

During a pandemic, it's important to apply social norms to virtual interactions. Don't whip your dick out on a zoom call without getting consent first. #zoomdick

The Church Of Satan (@ChurchofSatan) October 19, 2020","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"The Church Of Satan","author_url":"https://twitter.com/ChurchofSatan","cache_age":86400,"description":"During a pandemic, it's important to apply social norms to virtual interactions. Don't whip your dick out on a zoom call without getting consent first. #zoomdick The Church Of Satan (@ChurchofSatan) October 19, 2020\n\n","options":{"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"The Church Of Satan on 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During a pandemic, it's important to apply social norms to virtual interactions. Don't whip your dick out on a zoom call without getting consent first. #zoomdick
The Church Of Satan (@ChurchofSatan) October 19, 2020

Maybe I should write a book on Zoom etiquette. #ZoomDick pic.twitter.com/9JWfmvT13d

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Maybe I should write a book on Zoom etiquette. #ZoomDick pic.twitter.com/9JWfmvT13d
Seaside Trader (@csidetrader) October 19, 2020

Lets get this out of the way to start publicly masturbating without consent from everyone involved is a form of sexual assault. No one on that call consented to seeing Toobins downstairs. Masturbating at work is definitely not OK in any context. Mistake or not, its right hes facing repercussions for it.

That being said, with the amount of time were expected to spend in front of a screen these days, were all bound to get bored on group video calls every now and then.