Joe Bidens Strength Is His Humanity. This Dad's Heartbreaking Story Proves It

On the evening of Wednesday Nov. 4, while Americans continued to wait for the results of a nail-biter of a presidential race , widowed father Alan Townsend shared a private memory of meeting then U.S. vice-president Joe Biden , in 2016, and sharing a heartbreaking father-to-father exchange, as men whose lives were both marked by similar tragedies.

Townsend, who is today the Dean and Franke Professor of Forestry & Conservation at the University of Montana, started out by sharing that the time he met Biden will stay with me always.

Follow his full thread below, for the full heartbreaking yet hope-inspiring story:

No matter what happens, it seems right tonight to share a story about @JoeBiden It was just a brief moment in his life, but it will stay with me always. Ive told parts of it to some, but all of it to only a very few. (1/many)
— Alan Townsend (@alan_townsend) November 5, 2020

Townsends wife, Diana Nemergut, died of a glioblastoma , the aggressive form of brain cancer to which Bidens son Beau succumbed, also in 2015, at the age of 46 . And to complicate things further, the widowers loss happened while his and Nemerguts young daughter was also in treatment for a brain tumour.

We all know he lost his son to a glioblastoma. The same cancer took my wife @thenemergut far too young. All in the midst of our young daughter battling through her own brain tumor.
— Alan Townsend (@alan_townsend) November 5, 2020

Shortly after his wifes death, Townsend (who then worked at Duke Universitys Nicholas School of the Environment), learned that Biden was visiting his workplace to meet cancer doctors and researchers.

I was working @DukeEnvironment at the time (a wonderful place), and not long after Diana died, @joebiden came to visit @DukeU . He was there to listen to and learn from some of the extraordinary cancer docs and researchers at the university. To ask what he could do to help.
— Alan Townsend (@alan_townsend) November 5, 2020

Townsend was invited to a meet-and-greet.

The @DukeU provost (an exceptional cancer researcher herself) was kind enough to invite me to join a group that would have a chance to meet the then Vice President. The day before that meeting would happen, I told my daughter about it.
— Alan Townsend (@alan_townsend) November 5, 2020

The day before, the widower told his then-six-year-old daughter, Neva, about Bidens visit, explaining that the vice-president had lost a loved one to the same cancer that had taken her mother.

She asked why Vice President Biden was coming to Duke and I told her that he wanted to help people with cancer. And I told her that he had lost someone very close to him to the same tumor which took her mom.
— Alan Townsend (@alan_townsend) November 5, 2020

Many questions followed ...

Mind you, she was still only six. She paused, and then as his her style, wanted to know much more. Eventually she learned Joe Biden had a granddaughter not much older than her. Another little girl who had lost a parent to cancer.
— Alan Townsend (@alan_townsend) November 5, 2020

Townsends daughter then decided she would write to the VP and give his grieving granddaughter, who was around her age, a very special gift.

She was quiet for a time and then said she wanted to write a letter to the Vice President and have it go along with a gift for his granddaughter. I asked what gift. My extra bracelet she answered.
— Alan Townsend (@alan_townsend) November 5, 2020

The gift was incredibly meaningful: one of four bracelets made the day before Nevas mother died. Townsend and his daughter both wear theirs every day, and Diana has hers in her place of rest.

There were four such bracelets in the world. Each was identical and showed an outline of the mountain that gave my daughter her name. Each was made just days before Diana died. I wear one, my daughter wears one, Diana the other in her place of rest. pic.twitter.com/nNNptSREv1
— Alan Townsend (@alan_townsend) November 5, 2020

Neva wanted the late Beau Bidens daughter, Natalie, to have the fourth bracelet so maybe she wont feel quite as sad.

The extra was for when Neva grew. But she said: I want to give it to the Vice President to give to his granddaughter so maybe she wont feel quite as sad. Needless to say Im pretty much trying not to completely lose it by now.
— Alan Townsend (@alan_townsend) November 5, 2020

She wrote a letter and put the bracelet in a box for her father to give to Biden, for his granddaughter, at the meet-and-greet.

She wrote the letter, and put the bracelet in a tiny box. The next day, I lined up with a few dozen others to meet Vice President Biden. Like most such events, he was on a tight schedule and none of us were supposed to linger.
— Alan Townsend (@alan_townsend) November 5, 2020

Since Biden was on a tight schedule, Townsend tried to keep their exchange brief, merely thanking him for his work and adding that hed lost someone special and so appreciated his efforts.

So when my turn came, I simply told him thanks for what he was doing, that Id lost someone special and so appreciated his efforts. Then I began to move aside. But he stopped me.
— Alan Townsend (@alan_townsend) November 5, 2020

Biden paused and ask Townsend who did you lose?

The father spoke about his late wife and about his daughters own cancer diagnosis, and about the letter and gift she wanted his granddaughter to have.

He reached out, grabbed my shoulder and asked who did you lose? I told him quickly of Diana, and of our daughter too, and of how she had written him a letter and sent a present for his granddaughter.
— Alan Townsend (@alan_townsend) November 5, 2020

Even though time was tight, Biden ignored his staff and continued talking with Townsend, father to father. ... he shook his head, and his eyes filled just a little, and he simply said its just not right. recalls Townsend. When he tried to leave again, Biden would not let him.

He stood silently for a few seconds, ignoring his staff who were clearly anxious for him to move to the next person. Then he shook his head, and his eyes filled just a little, and he simply said its just not right. I nodded and tried to leave again. He still wouldnt let me.
— Alan Townsend (@alan_townsend) November 5, 2020

They talked some more and Biden asked to know if Townsends daughter was present and then what the gift was.

So we talked a bit more. He wanted to know if my daughter was there. He seemed disappointed she was not. He asked if I had her letter. I told him the letter & gift were with his staff. He asked if I could tell him what the gift was. So I did.
— Alan Townsend (@alan_townsend) November 5, 2020

The two bereaved men stood in silence, and Biden held Townsends eyes. What I saw was someone still wracked by his own grief & yet remarkably able to feel, I mean really feel, that of others, shared Townsend, in his thread. A man who truly gave a damn about a person hed never met. Right down into his bones.

Again he just stood for quite some time and held my eyes. What I saw was someone still wracked by his own grief & yet remarkably able to feel, I mean really feel, that of others. A man who truly gave a damn about a person hed never met. Right down into his bones.
— Alan Townsend (@alan_townsend) November 5, 2020

Townsend concluded his simultaneously heartwarming and heartbreaking thread with some thoughts on what this incredibly human moment tells us about Bidens capacity to run the U.S.A.

That is what we should seek in a leader, and what we should give back in return, he said, in his final tweet.

That is what we should seek in a leader, and what we should give back in return. May we somehow, someway find enough of us turning onto that path, not just tonight, not just next week, but through every year each one of us still gets. /fin
— Alan Townsend (@alan_townsend) November 5, 2020

The response to the thread was overwhelming, and the following day, Thursday Nov 5., Townsend thanked everyone for their kind comments and added a few final thoughts on another thing he and Biden have in common their belief in science .

Thanks to all of you sending kind replies to last night's story about Joe Biden and my daughter. I'm humbled by how many of you did so, and wish I could respond to you all. For those asking, Neva is doing great.
— Alan Townsend (@alan_townsend) November 5, 2020

Neva is here today because of science plus empathy, Townsend wrote. Countless hours of research, then allowing exceptionally caring and skilled docs to shepherd her through. Both of these matter so, so much in all our lives.

The dad noted that to get through the COVID-19 pandemic , listening to the science and showing one another empathy was essential. We get through best, with the most lives saved, by trusting the science AND caring deeply for each other. Its that simple, and that crucial, he wrote.

And he praised Bidens commitment to that formula.

That is what I saw from Joe Biden that day in North Carolina. Using science as an expression of his love, and a balm for his grief, through the lives it could give back to others.