Today's been a lousy writing day. This chapter doesn't work, I'm going to have to rewrite from scratch AND THERE'S NO CAKE IN THE HOUSE.

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They see me Rowlin'
They hatin' https://t.co/dfiqou7vpD

J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) February 17, 2016","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"J.K. Rowling","author_url":"https://twitter.com/jk_rowling","cache_age":86400,"description":"They see me Rowlin'They hatin' https://t.co/dfiqou7vpD— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) February 17, 2016\n","provider_name":"Twitter","title":"J.K. 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Well, the fumes from the DVDs might be toxic and I've still got your money, so by all means borrow my lighter. pic.twitter.com/kVoi8VGEoK

J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) January 31, 2017","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"J.K. Rowling","author_url":"https://twitter.com/jk_rowling","cache_age":86400,"description":"Well, the fumes from the DVDs might be toxic and I've still got your money, so by all means borrow my lighter. pic.twitter.com/kVoi8VGEoK— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) January 31, 2017\n","provider_name":"Twitter","thumbnail_height":508,"thumbnail_url":"https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C3f4zIrWIAAltih.jpg:large","thumbnail_width":1282,"title":"J.K. 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In fairness, I *am* pasty.

Not going to shut up, though. pic.twitter.com/wqehsnXzPp

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A baby orange Twitter egg! They're so cute at this age. pic.twitter.com/zCBq4OaHQV

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*sighs* Well, who knows? If I try harder, I might be reincarnated as a lonely virgin hiding behind a cartoon frog. pic.twitter.com/EbocdxfJ5o

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.@diegtristan8 \"she is built like a man\". Yeah, my husband looks just like this in a dress. You're an idiot. pic.twitter.com/BCvT10MYkI

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I think you mean 'shudder', unless there's a biblical character called Shutter I've forgotten. pic.twitter.com/x1uOy6n3BH

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Guess it's true what they say: you can lead a girl to books about the rise and fall of an autocrat, but you still can't make her think. pic.twitter.com/oB7Aq6Xz8M

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Well, there you have it. A highly intelligent, experienced woman just debated a giant orange Twitter egg. Your move, America. #debate

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When a man this ignorant & easy to manipulate gets within sniffing distance of the nuclear codes, it's everyone's business. #RestOfTheWorld https://t.co/yHBIIuhYEN

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'I've developed so many friends.'

Humans 'make' friends, Donald. They 'make' them.#debate

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I wonder whether Trump talks to Trumpself in the third Trumperson when Trump's alone. https://t.co/8CEzVTJjBq

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`I dont think'
`Then you shouldnt talk, said the Hatter.

Lewis Carroll
Alice in Wonderland pic.twitter.com/l3kVik6hzz

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I acknowledge that he's the most powerful man in the world. He also has the overbearing ego and poor impulse control of a spoilt toddler. https://t.co/pBRx6z2vq8

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Muahahahahaha... pic.twitter.com/tjtCcSuYdt

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You tiny, tiny, tiny little man.
pic.twitter.com/mP3mad6cMt

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.@AlwaysJLover I love that you're working to heal and protect yourself. You deserve this. I hope it helps. pic.twitter.com/T2nDG3z2MJ

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'What would you like to be if you weren't a writer?'
An otter weigher. pic.twitter.com/Tc7TwevoN7

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I woke up today in the belief that there's no form of otter I can't love.
Then Twitter introduced me to the 'snot otter.' pic.twitter.com/8rnwGCidD9

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.@lilymydeer @HP_Gryffindors That might be my favourite otter picture ever. Anyway, you don't need to be an otter. x pic.twitter.com/OnC0tfZx5Z

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I think we can all agree that this is an unacceptable gift from a son to his mother on her birthday. pic.twitter.com/yYUdiIDnKI

J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) July 31, 2016","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"J.K. Rowling","author_url":"https://twitter.com/jk_rowling","cache_age":86400,"description":"I think we can all agree that this is an unacceptable gift from a son to his mother on her birthday. pic.twitter.com/yYUdiIDnKI— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) July 31, 2016\n","provider_name":"Twitter","thumbnail_height":2048,"thumbnail_url":"https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CosArEtVIAAqPUy.jpg:large","thumbnail_width":1536,"title":"J.K. 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Yes, the prospect of pushing an 8 pound object out of your vagina should be more than enough incentive for sex. https://t.co/UoEtPH3lRh

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It's the 16th anniversary of the Battle of Hogwarts. I'm having a moment's silence over my keyboard. I hated killing some of those people.

J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) May 2, 2014","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"J.K. Rowling","author_url":"https://twitter.com/jk_rowling","cache_age":86400,"description":"It's the 16th anniversary of the Battle of Hogwarts. I'm having a moment's silence over my keyboard. I hated killing some of those people.— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) May 2, 2014\n","provider_name":"Twitter","title":"J.K. 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OK, here it is. Please don't start flame wars over it, but this year I'd like to apologise for killing (whispers)... Snape. *runs for cover*

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Of all devices known to humankind, the desktop printer is the most evil. I am close to breaking point.

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OK, enough of this skittishness... I've had a very good Writing Day, which always affects me like a couple of strong cocktails.

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Me, today. Writing's too hard. I give up. pic.twitter.com/nOSP5AfnIL

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If you were working on your novel and someone contacted you to write something arguing against #Brexit, would you:

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Today I've rewritten until my brain feels like a used teabag & I daren't reread in case I can't sleep for hating it. #JobSatisfaction

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\"If you're going to write while we're on holiday, I'm going to lick suntan lotion out of your ears.\" pic.twitter.com/I4P3RI9k7e

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I've been called bitch, 'libtard' and plenty more tonight. Quite proud really; who'd want these people's approval? #DegenerateArmy https://t.co/f1i73HrrnG

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Canon: brown eyes, frizzy hair and very clever. White skin was never specified. Rowling loves black Hermione https://t.co/5fKX4InjTH

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Every man who feels this way should wear his penis hat with pride. pic.twitter.com/t4OKgf1kCM

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When you spend all day creeping past a big dead spider on the floor in case it's only pretending, then realise it's the stalk off a tomato.

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