We should probably get out of here.

Stephanie and I were at the wedding of our friends, Angela and Benjamin. It was a beautiful evening on July 1st... strange for St. Louis, Missouri in the teeth of the summer. We had just feasted on what might have been the best wedding food wed ever enjoyed, and we were getting ready to do some dancing. Only one thing stood in our way:

Fifty-thousand people.

Steph and I had Uber d to the event which was located at this gorgeous house not a half-mile away from Fair St. Louis, one of the biggest Independence Day bashes in the country. The Gateway Arch grounds have been undergoing years-long renovations, and they just werent quite ready this year for the tens of thousands of fairgoers, funnel cakes, and fireworks.

And because parking suckles hind teet in Forest Park, where the event takes place, many people Uber it to and fro. The fireworks would be over not 45 minutes from this moment, which meant that not only procuring an Uber would be difficult, but it might cost the price of a healthy kidney on the open market.

I dont want to miss the dancing at all, but we may not make it home for quite a long time if we wait too long, I said.

Stephanie agreed, and within ten minutes we were heading home.

I had always forgotten how much I hated it when my parents went and out and then came home before my brother and I went to bed. It meant that the babysitter would have to leave early (in this case, Izzy... one of their all time favs). I saw my parents enough... couldnt they just drag the night out a little longer?

My wife and I received that same look as we walked through the door.

Hi boys! we said.

What are you doing here? they said.

After seeing Izzy off, we all went upstairs to get ready for bed. I walked into our bedroom and flipped on the TV to an episode of Law & Order: SVU. (Side note: Im such a L&O fan that if they came out with Law & Order: Desk Duty, not only would I watch it, but Id DVR it to make sure I watched it.) Steph and I brushed our teeth and walked out of our bathroom, only to be greeted by Sam and Ben, our eleven and nine-year-old children, glued to the screen.

Wed already crushed them with our early arrival and we didnt have the heart to crush them again. So in a Parents of the Year Award nomineed moment, we let them watch about twenty minutes.

This was one Id never seen, about a sociopathic twelve-year-old kid who rapes and kills this older woman who grows pot, and his easily manipulated fourteen-year-old counterpart who was utterly crushed with remorse over being there and not doing anything to stop it.

The performance of the older boy was utterly extraordinary. The four of us couldnt take our eyes off the screen. It hit us so hard, in fact, that Sam (our oldest) said as we put him into bed, I feel so, so bad for that kid.

Me too, Ben chimed in.

Me too, said both Stephanie and I.

And I meant it. I thought about that kid a lot... so much so that the next morning while working on a video edit, I randomly Google d Law & Order SVU: kids kill the old woman. I expected to see at least fifteen episodes with that premise, as the show has been going on for approximately sixty-one years. However, only one popped up the the SVU Wiki:

Juvenile.

After a solid six seconds of reading the plot points, I knew I had found the right episode. Further down the page, I found the name of the actor who played the remorseful teenager: Shane Lyons.

Now in this episode, Mariska Hargitay had exceptionally short hair, so I knew it was one of the early ones. Which meant by this time, Shane was well into adulthood.

But something about that character struck me so tragically. I had hoped that Shane, the human, had not somehow ended up like Shanes character, Jeremy Brice. So I continued my stalki... Googling... and discovered that not only was Shane still alive, but that he was now a really successful chef... the one profession I would want to do if I wasnt in video production.

I found a video of him from the WLNYs The Couch TV show , where he made Turducken burgers. During the appearance, he almost coats both sides of the burgers in salt before grilling, which is something Ive been doing for a long time. When the host questions why hes using so much, Shane says, Home cooks usually dont use enough salt.

Yes! I yelled at my computer screen. Summer, our dog and the only other living being awake at that ungodly hour, looked at me like I was high.

A couple of minutes into the video, he was cooking burgers in one iron skillet, and toasting the buns in another one next to it. When the host asked him about that, Shane said, Because the meat is only part of the burger. A huge part of it is also the bun.

And with that, a single native-American-standing-in-a-thrown-trash-pile tear rolled down my cheek, metaphorically. For ten years, Ive been saying that the bun is completely overlooked when making an amazing burger. For ten years, my wife has basically said, I know, honey. There-there.

After one more Google, I learned that not only is he a ridiculously successful chef, but that he opened a restaurant in New York called Distilled .

I found the website and perused the menu . After what may have been fifteen seconds, I immediately made an Open-Table reservation. And I could only do this because, in a lovely twist of fate, my wife and I were taking our boys to NYC as part of our road-trip vacation in two weeks.

At the end of the reservation process, there happened to be what is usually a throw-away line: If you have any questions, please e-mail info@distilledny.com.

So I did, and the subject line read Youre Going To Think Im Nuts When You Read This...

... and then I relayed the entire story to the restaurant. I ended it with,

And if nothing else, I just wanted to send my sincerest gratitude for an exceptional performance, and my culinary kinship to a fellow devotee of the lowly hamburger bun.

Three hours and eight minutes later, Shane responded. Personally.

You could have knocked me over with a feather. He was so thankful for the message, for the appreciation of his performance in SVU, and for our reservation. And then he laid this on us:

I would like to set you guys up at our chef's counter, where our Chef de Cuisine Chris will make sure to give you guys lots of extra love.

Excuse me, what? Did that really just happen?

Well, actually, it happened last night. As I sit here writing this, Im still trying to process everything that occurred. We walked in to Distilled, and sure enough, there were four really comfortable stools in a row waiting for us at the chefs counter. The look on both of the boys faces, alone, would have made the night unforgettable.

But they were just getting started with us.

The first thing they give you at Distilled is popcorn. Yes, you read that correctly. It has this Magic Dust on it that is out of this world good. However, our boys were a little on the apprehensive side, so Chris Blain , the Chef de Cuisine, asked, Would you like some plain popcorn?