Therefore, to state it in another, more accurate way, I became, during my fourteenth year, for the first time in my life, afraid afraid of the evil within me and afraid of the evil without. James Baldwin

Where does a giant go when he doesnt want to be seen?

For six-foot-ten-inch former NBA player Michael Beasley, he stays in his house. With his thoughts. The ones that haunt him. The little thoughts he should be past, teaming up with larger ones that he cant shake. Inside him, they create a dormant volcano, because thats what trauma does to many of us who have survived the neighborhood and all of the temptations that come with it; we still walk around with the bubbling hot lava of trauma just waiting to erupt.

The only people that havent stolen from me are my kids, he says in an interview on The Pivot Podcast , hosted by Ryan Clark, Channing Crowder, and Fred Taylor all former NFL players.

No one told him how to handle the volcano inside him. No one showed him that it could be contained and, eventually, with therapy, extinguished.

And Beasley is hot. Not with anger, but with sadness. Same thing, really.

Beasleys heard everything that fans and critics have had to say about him . All of it has landed in space that even Beasley doesnt know. So he hides. Maybe from us, maybe for us. But either way, hes isolating himself so that he doesnt have to be the butt of jokes that arent funny or relive all of the ways people believe he ruined his life. Im not listing all of the run-ins Beasleys had with authority figures, you can read that here, but I will ask this: What is a reasonable expectation of maturity when no one has taught you how to be mature?

So, Beasley, 31, stays home. Like a child on punishment. But the other men in the room, all Black men, recognize the isolation. They are concerned that this might be the warning signs of something else.

Youve have kids, I have kids. Come to my house, Crowder said on the podcast. We can get bounce houses for the kids, and we can drink a couple beers and hang out.

Crowder paused and then added: Thats not a normal successful mans life; to sit up in the house like that.

But this is what happens to Black athletes in an environment where fans feel entitled to them and spectators are cruel. They say have a thicker skin, that the millions they make should be the salve on their wounds, reducing Black athletes to silent giants, denied their humanity, who have to prove their toughness by how well they can take abuse. And thats what it is abuse. Thats why the efforts of those like tennis player Naomi Osaka and superstar gymnast Simone Biles to bring awareness to athletes mental health are so important. Its why the hosts of Pivot offered to be a friend to Beasley and encouraged him to get out of the house. Its why we all need to take mental health in the workplace seriously.

According to Mental Health America , Black people make up 13.4% of the United States. Of that, some 16% have reported having a mental illness. And while that number might seem small, that is over 7 million people, or more than the combined population of Chicago, Houston and Philadelphia.

The more important study, though, might be the one that found that 63% of Black people believe that a mental health condition is a sign of personal weakness. As a result, people may experience shame about having a mental illness and worry that they may be discriminated against due to their condition.

The stigma surrounding therapy and the widely held belief among many Black people that churches or other places of worship are the only acceptable forms of mental health treatment, coupled with widely held assumptions about Black athletes, couldve led to those unceremonious moments in sports where the heckling fan and the sports player collide.

Take the Malice in the Palace , the infamous brawl between the Detroit Pistons and the Indiana Pacers and unruly fans on Nov. 19, 2004 and before you make that face, remember that weve learned that Pistons center Ben Wallaces mom had just died, and the Pacers Ron Artest, who would later change his name to Metta World Peace, has been vocal about his struggles with mental health. And dont forget that the brawl between players and fans happened after a drink was thrown on Artest as he lay on the scorers table. What ensued was an all-out fracas. It was a black eye on the sport, but what was more telling after the fact was the players believing that they were going to die that night thanks to a lack of police presence and an out-of-control Detroit crowd, only to be suspended and called thugs.

No one mentions that Pacers center Jermaine ONeal got his suspension overturned because he took the NBA to court and a federal judge found that he had a right to protect himself. Truthfully, Artest and Wallace probably shouldnt have been on the court that night. Wallace was emotionally raw from the loss of his mother and Artest had struggled with his mental health for years and was merely labeled a hothead.

This is the struggle of mental health for Black athletes who survived the ghetto when money isnt enough. This is the struggle for Black athletes who can be both revered and despised in a country that doesnt love them back. This will always be the struggle for Black athletes who have to work out a Rubiks cube-like contraption inside themselves to make sense of all the ways they will be treated and how they should present and behave.

Just imagine all the levels of WTF that recently took place inside Serena and Venus Williams heads as they listened to director Jane Campion drag them during the Critics Choice Awards.

Serena and Venus, you are such marvels. However, you dont play against the guys, like I have to, Campion said .

Just watch Venus face it says it all.

Its this level of internalized contortionism that becomes exhausting for most Black athletes.

In 2021, Naomi Osaka was one of the top tennis players in the world when she left the game to take care of her mental health . She literally quit the French Open and took care of herself. At the time, everyone seemed supportive. That was until Saturday when a heckler yelled, Naomi you suck! during a silent moment in her match against Russias Veronika Kudermetova. A visibly shaken Osaka went on to lose the match 6-0, 6-4. After the game, Osaka addressed the crowd.

Hi, Osaka said. I just wanted to say thank you. I feel like I cried enough on camera. To be honest, Ive gotten heckled before and it didnt really bother me. But heckled here. ... Ive watched a video of Serena and Venus getting heckled here and if youve never watched it, you should watch.

She continued: I dont know why but it went into my head and got replayed a lot. Im trying not to cry but, I just wanted to say thank you and congratulations [Veronika]. Thank you.

Osaka wasnt trying to overshadow Kudermetovas victory; she was telling the heckler that if you wanted to hurt me, you did. And thats the part that hurt the worst. Osaka is performing under intense scrutiny during a vulnerable time, and in a professional sport where the biblical ethos is to suck it up. I couldnt imagine the difficulty that Osaka faces being a Black woman in pro tennis, in a country that doesnt care about Black women.

But I do know that its time for spectators to spectate. Its also time for those athletes who believe that heckling is a part of the game to work to change it. Its time that paid attendees realize that just because athletes are performing in front of you doesnt mean that you own them. And you might want to take into account all that they may be going through, I mean just because they are giants doesnt mean they dont have feelings too.