Pop music icon Britney Spears stunned the public with a series of revelations about the terms of her conservatorship on Wednesday, telling a judge overseeing the legal arrangement that it is abusive and has left her traumatized.

Spears, 39, spoke before Judge Brenda Penny after asking for the chance to address the court in her own words. Her testimony, delivered by phone, lasted about 20 minutes. It was the first time she appeared before the court regarding her conservatorship in two years.

Theyve done a good job at exploiting my life, she said of her conservators, which include her father, Jamie Spears; a woman named Jodi Montgomery; and the group Bessemer Trust. She has been under the conservatorship since 2008 after she was hospitalized for a psychiatric evaluation.

Ive lied and told the whole world Im OK and Im happy, Spears said, referencing messages shes put out on social media in recent months. If I said that enough, maybe Id become happy.

Here are some of the most alarming things she said in court on Wednesday.

She alleges shes been forced to be on birth control despite wanting a baby.

In one of the more heartbreaking moments from her testimony, Spears said the conservatorship which essentially puts all her major decision-making into the hands of those appointed by the court has forced her to be on birth control, even though she wants to have another child.

I want to get married and have a baby, said Spears, whos been in a relationship with model Sam Asghari since meeting on the set of one of her music videos in 2016. I have a device inside of me that means I cant have a baby. I want it taken out, but they wont take me to the doctor to get it taken out, she said, ostensibly referring to an intrauterine device (IUD).