As a single parent, Ive always had a close relationship with my kids, who are now 13 and 14. Weve spent their entire lives as a trio, and Ive worked hard to maintain an open line of communication through all of the turbulence of childhood and adolescence. So when they entered their teen years and started establishing more emotional boundaries, I felt unsure of my footing. I wanted to give them space, but not so much that they feel neglected and not so much that I feel out of the loop.

One of our biggest hurdles has been the talk. (We only call it that when were being silly or when theyre trying to avoid the conversation, which is most of the time.)

I know, firsthand, how important it is for kids to have access to accurate, inclusive information around sex and relationships. Growing up, my parents never had those conversations with me, and as a result I lacked the ability to make informed decisions about my body. My lack of understanding led to harmful situations I didnt know how to navigate, and I wanted to make sure my kids did not share that same experience.

I also didnt want them getting their sex education from their friends or any facet of the internet. I wanted to be the open, approachable parent who didnt make a big deal about these topics, and for whom the conversation came naturally. But every time I tried to open the conversation, they shut down. Oh, God, we heard it all in health class, theyd say, covering their ears and leaving the room.

There hadnt ever been anything we hadnt been able to talk about, and the stonewalling caught me off guard. I was stuck when trying to navigate it. I tried subtle suggestions; I slipped books onto the shelves in their rooms The Every Body Book and Its Perfectly Normal and let them know that information was available should they want it. I wouldnt even know they were reading it.

Still, I felt like I was failing at one of the most important parts of being their parent. I tried to trust that theyd come to me when they were ready, but as their only parent, I knew it was up to me to make sure those conversations happened at some point.