Chrissy Metz isnt holding back with regard to mental, physical, emotional abuse she received at the hands of her stepfather, who she believes singled her out from her four siblings because of her weight.

Appearing on Tuesdays episode of The Jamie Kern Lima Show , Metz said she felt as though she was living under a magnifying glass around her stepfather, noting: He would weigh me in the kitchen or threaten to lock the cupboards.

It still affects the way I walk into a room. Its my desire to be a people pleaser and a peacemaker, the This Is Us actor recalled. Why does my weight equate my worthiness? Or why does it bother him so much? Or what is he projecting onto me? What is that? And as a 12-year-old kid, its like, how do you reconcile that in your mind?

Since then, Metz has worked through some of her trauma in therapy, which has enabled her to forgive her mother, who she says was struggling for many, many years, and has given her a more empathetic outlook on her stepfathers actions.

Now as an adult, Im like, OK, maybe he actually loved me, didnt know how to express it, and did it in such a difficult way that he thought he was being helpful, she said. He doesnt want me to be unhealthy. He doesnt want me to be a certain way. But also hurt people hurt people. And he was, I think, very hurt by his own father.