The holiday season is full of delicious treats, from hot chocolate and egg nog to peppermint bark and chestnuts roasted on an open fire . And then, of course, theres the tradition of Christmas cookies.
Whether you prefer classic sugar cookies or seasonal gingerbread, this holiday indulgence certainly satisfies a sweet tooth. And of course, there are many opportunities for humor. Weve rounded up 40 funny tweets about baking (and eating) Christmas cookies. Enjoy!
5-year-old: We have to eat all the Christmas cookies.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) December 21, 2017
Me: Why?
5: So Mom makes more Christmas cookies.
Me: *starts eating all the cookies*
My mouth is playing a losing game of Just The Tip with this Christmas tree cookie.
— Randi Lawson (@RandiLawson) December 23, 2013
You think you cringed watching your kids decorate the Christmas tree? Wait until they help bake cookies.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) December 8, 2018
Me: what was your favorite part of our Christmas party? Friends? Staying up late? Knowing Christmas is soon?
— Mike Reynolds (@EverydayGirlDad) December 17, 2017
5: nobody knew how many cookies I took from the table. I must have had 20.
It's ok to eat Christmas cookies at your desk in November as long you play Christmas music.
— Lies (@AbleLikes) November 7, 2023
Me: I always get sick just before Christmas.
— Just Linda (@LindaInDisguise) December 22, 2015
Him: Do you get flu shots?
Me: Why? Would they stop me from over-eating Christmas cookies?
Decorating Christmas cookies
— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) December 23, 2015
7: I'm just gonna eat all this, ok? (Points to sprinkles, icing)
Me:(already squeezing frosting into my mouth)
Baking Christmas cookies with your kids is a great way to question all of your life choices.
— Foxy Wine Pocket (@FoxyWinePocket) December 12, 2016
If all the Christmas cookies turn out like the ones my kids just made we may have to leave Santa fortune cookies.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) December 8, 2019
Me have question. How many Christmas cookies too many?
— Cookie Monster (@MeCookieMonster) December 23, 2018
That moment when you finally finish the last batch of rolled Christmas cookies and your kids lost interest 40 mins ago.
— Jenna Fischer (@jennafischer) December 21, 2016
"Ugh! Why do Christmas cookies take so long to make?"
— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) December 22, 2016
-me, while placing break-n-bake dough on the cookie sheets
Has a gingerbread man cookie ever lived up to expectations? SAD! Everyone knows the Christmas cookie tradition is rigged! Congress should investigate NOW!
— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) December 20, 2017
Only slightly tired of seeing Christmas cookies on Instagram that I can't eat.
— Abbi Thanksgiving Crutchfield (@curlycomedy) December 15, 2014
— AsKateWouldHaveIt (@KateWouldHaveIt) December 10, 2018
So today Im baking Christmas cookies with my little munchkins! Youre gonna want to start with 5 Advil...
crossing my fingers that someone makes me a benedict cumberbatch of christmas cookies.
— hadley (@hadleyk) December 3, 2012
Hm. The cookies my mom sent me for Christmas still haven't arrived. Unless... she didn't send cookies at all, but merely TOLD me she was sending cookies.
— Mary Gillis (@living_marble) January 11, 2018
I see now. Her true gift was building my character through subtle psychological torture & inuring me to minor disappointment.
My Christmas eve mandate is clear: these cookies arent going to eat themselves.
— John Mullane (Future Dad) (@johnmullane) December 25, 2021
When making Christmas cookies turns into Game of Thrones pic.twitter.com/fNzU83Ade7
— Tyrion Lannister (@GoT_Tyrion) December 13, 2015
Found our 3yo hiding in the bathroom with a giant Tupperware of Christmas cookies and honestly Im just mad I didnt think of it first.
— Richard Dean (@dad_on_my_feet) December 23, 2019
People are always making a big deal about Christmas cookies, but cookies should feel our love all year round.
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) December 7, 2016
yesterday I ate the last of my Christmas cookies and today my friends surprised me with more Christmas cookies, so clearly the universe is rewarding me
— malice ghoulpus (@alicegoldfuss) December 30, 2019
Making Christmas cookies with my wife and kids. Is there anything better in life?
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) December 1, 2013
*sneaks off to watch football*
eating all of the holiday cookies I made for gifts like... pic.twitter.com/dmwvpnxoc1
— Vanessa Dora Lavorato (@VanessaMarigold) December 9, 2019
ok i just watched The Knight Before Christmas and I need to know why they used BREAD FLOUR to make COOKIES, but ALL PURPOSE FLOUR to make BREAD https://t.co/atCGA3zAKQ
— Judith Harvey (@bakingwithjudy) November 24, 2019
being jewish around christmas is just being really drunk and trying to get people to deliver me christmas cookies
— mir (@mirahope_) December 24, 2019
Dec1- This year I'm going to make four different kinds of Christmas cookies.
— Domestic Goddess (@DomesticGoddss) December 15, 2016
Dec23- *QUICK! BUY EVERYTHING IN THE BAKERRRYYYY!!!
Me: so I was going to send you Christmas cookies
— mechanical turkey (@alicegoldfuss) November 24, 2016
Mom: well don't send us like 50 dozen
Sister: *jumping into view* send me 50 dozen
Having Oreos in your house during the holidays is like taking out insurance against your homemade Christmas cookies.
— Lauren Mullen (@DraggingFeeties) December 23, 2016
(931): dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
— TextsFromLastNight (@TFLN) December 25, 2014
I just took a DNA test turns out Im 100% not getting my results because my blood has turned to Christmas cookie dough.
— Arianna Bradford (@thearibradford) December 26, 2019
My wife spent all afternoon baking Christmas cookies.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) December 18, 2017
I spent all afternoon eating them.
It's called teamwork.
You think its going to be a normal day and then you wake up to see TWO separate people you know have announced they are competing on the Food Networks Christmas Cookie Challenge
— katie jo(hantgen) (@katiejoyofosho) December 8, 2020
Hows everyone doing on their Christmas cookie cleanse?
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) December 27, 2019
My wife just lit her Yankee Christmas Cookie candle so I guess its really happening.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) November 9, 2021
Dear Santa,
— The Salty Mamas (@saltymamas) December 24, 2021
I hope you like your cookies a little crispy.
Love,
A Mom who had the audacity to sit down for 3 minutes on Christmas Eve
Me saw falling leaves today. Let da countdown to Christmas cookies begin!
— Cookie Monster (@MeCookieMonster) September 29, 2022
Baking cookies, wrapping all these gifts, and cleaning everything up while bringing all the Christmas magic to life is really hard without elves.
— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) December 24, 2021
Ok We Made the Damn Christmas Cookies Can Everyone Leave Me Alone
— Stephanie Wyeld (@steph_the_twit) December 23, 2021
~my memoir re-release, 2021
Woke up covered in tinsel and wrapping paper. What was in those christmas cookies?
— Tom Papa (@tompapa) December 26, 2015
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