While we may strive to be kind and compassionate in our communications with people, were bound to fall short sometimes. And one of the ways we do that in conversation? When we condescend, or talk down, to the other person.

Were being condescending when we speak to someone in a way that implies our own superiority, said journalist Celeste Headlee , author of We Need to Talk: How to Have Conversations That Matter.

It generally involves some kind of haughty tone, but condescension also almost always involves a passive-aggressive behavior, Headlee told HuffPost.

In other words, when you are condescending to someone as in, Bless your heart, you are putting on a false persona of kindness but beneath that is that clear message of superiority. Youre treating them in a way that shows that they are an inferior.