WASHINGTON When Avaye Armstrong got pregnant almost two years ago, she had a job waiting tables at a Buffalo Wild Wings. She enjoyed the work and it paid well on game nights. Armstrong, her daughter and her boyfriend were living with his mother at the time, not far from the restaurant.

Like most companies, Buffalo Wild Wings didnt offer paid maternity leave. But a manager told Armstrong she could return to her job after the baby was born, whenever she was ready. She tried to go back after less than six weeks before doctors generally advise new moms to return to work but she realized she missed her new baby boy too much.

I wasnt fully ready, said the 21-year-old. She decided to stay home after that.

Losing her income was a big hit for the family. Armstrong and her boyfriend relied on their parents to afford basic necessities. Sometimes they ran low on diapers among the more expensive needs of newborns and they would delay changing the baby if the diaper was just wet. This could be miserable for the baby and was also hard on Armstrong.

Im his mom, she said. Hes depending on me, and I cant even get a diaper.

Armstrongs story highlights the heavy burdens of parenthood in America and points to a gaping hole in our social safety net. Diapers are perhaps its clearest symbol.

New moms and dads must chose between quitting their jobs and raising their children on a severely diminished income, like Armstrong did, or continuing to work, paying someone else to take care of their children and still risking punishment for insufficient devotion to their employer. Whatever your income level, parenthood pulls you away from the workplace and could set you on a path to poverty.

For too many parents struggling to pay the bills, theres no government backstop to help meet their families non-food needs. The problem has only grown worse since President Bill Clinton signed welfare reform into law in 1996.

This gap in the social safety net has given rise to a new charitable institution in America: the diaper bank. The first U.S. diaper bank opened in Tucson, Arizona, in 2000, after several years of volunteer-driven holiday diaper drives. In the last 17 years, hundreds more have been established across the country, distributing millions of diapers to families in need.

But diaper bank directors say theres more need than they can cover, and lawmakers arent ready to help. Quite the opposite, in fact: The remaining safety net programs, which mitigate a tremendous amount of suffering, are under constant siege from Republicans using Clintons welfare reform as a template.

The truth is we do not have a social safety net to speak of for many, many Americans, said Joanne Goldblum, director of the National Diaper Bank Network.