RIP to whoever is about to receive the literal wall of text currently being drafted by the person sitting in front of me on the train. It begins with my feelings on our situation have not changed, so godspeed

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me rising from my edible coma to ask the flight attendant for a ginger ale in a clear, considerate voice that conveys gratefulness and respect pic.twitter.com/9TnDg9uZ5O

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it happened to me: i finally answered an email i had been putting off & the person responded right away & now i'm back to square one

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in a weird place mentally. i hope sitting inside for the next 48 hours fixes it

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your password isnt strong enough kind of rude to say that right in front of him but ok

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One thing nobody tells you about adulthood is how much time youll spend waiting to see whats happening in Fulton county

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RIP Jane Austen. You would have loved the ability to Zillow someone's house.

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when i was in school i was doing my french speaking exam and i started crying cause i literally couldn't do it and my french teacher said 'it's okay you're not the worst, the girl before you answered the questions in english with a french accent' and i could not breathe omg

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when my gen z friends introduce me pic.twitter.com/H5zm3Ml3oC

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Lmaoo my barista asked me what my shirt was and I said Taylor Swift and then he asked me if I went to the concert and what era I dressed as, and when I said Fearless he said I dont know what that is, I just know thats a question you should ask ahxjwnsnskskjabsjaksjan adorable

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Oh youre running a marathon? What are you running from?? your FEELINGS?????

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kids these days will never know what its like to have another scorcher with tomorrow being even hotter and ur husband says hell call sears and u mention that he said that yesterday and tell him to call now. so he calls now

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HBO shows are always like ohhhh a beautiful ginger woman. Lets put her through unimaginable torment

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I'm just at that point where I don't even care if I get canceled anymore and I'm just gonna fucking say it. I think arugula tastes weird. It's weird for lettuce to be spicy.

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if my name was Steve I would say good Stevening every night

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Rich folks I dog sit for have switched to Hulu with ads. The recession is here beloved

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i dated someone who was like \"i dont care if we breakup, hate each other and never speak again, if theres one thing you take from me it should be: never go to a chiropractor, i mean that\" https://t.co/7yRaEopBTb

ashley ray (@theashleyray) August 15, 2023","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"ashley ray","author_url":"https://twitter.com/theashleyray","cache_age":86400,"description":"i dated someone who was like \"i dont care if we breakup, hate each other and never speak again, if theres one thing you take from me it should be: never go to a chiropractor, i mean that\" https://t.co/7yRaEopBTb ashley ray (@theashleyray) August 15, 2023\n\n","options":{"_hide_media":{"label":"Hide photos, videos, and cards","value":false},"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"ashley ray on 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When I go to a restaurant's IG page, I don't need to see close-up shot after close-up shot of delicious foods. Congratulations. I'm checking for vibe and the availability of comfortable seating.

Akilah Green (@akilahgreen) August 16, 2023","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Akilah Green","author_url":"https://twitter.com/akilahgreen","cache_age":86400,"description":"When I go to a restaurant's IG page, I don't need to see close-up shot after close-up shot of delicious foods. Congratulations. I'm checking for vibe and the availability of comfortable seating. 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msnbc had the opportunity to have the funniest possible guest and they took it pic.twitter.com/8ALPxTigMe

Annie Wu (all socials: @annie_wu_22) (@Annie_Wu_22) August 15, 2023","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Annie Wu (all socials: @annie_wu_22)","author_url":"https://twitter.com/Annie_Wu_22","cache_age":86400,"description":"msnbc had the opportunity to have the funniest possible guest and they took it pic.twitter.com/8ALPxTigMe Annie Wu (all socials: @annie_wu_22) (@Annie_Wu_22) August 15, 2023\n\n","options":{"_hide_media":{"label":"Hide photos, videos, and cards","value":false},"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"Annie Wu (all socials: @annie_wu_22) on 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when I was in college I took Intro to Philosophy with this guy named Elliot who was often surrounded by girls, and like three weeks into the term the prof asked if they were enrolled in the course and Elliot, clarifying, said \"no they are my guests\"

Kaitlin Ruiz (@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz) August 16, 2023","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Kaitlin Ruiz","author_url":"https://twitter.com/Kaitlin_M_Ruiz","cache_age":86400,"description":"when I was in college I took Intro to Philosophy with this guy named Elliot who was often surrounded by girls, and like three weeks into the term the prof asked if they were enrolled in the course and Elliot, clarifying, said \"no they are my guests\" Kaitlin Ruiz (@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz) August 16, 2023\n\n","options":{"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"Kaitlin Ruiz on 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i always do irish hellos which is where i arrive at parties without anyone noticing and it hurts my feelings

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one time this guy asked me out to ice cream. and so we went and I ordered my ice cream. and he didnt get anything. I dont like ice cream, he said. so we sat outside and I ate ice cream as he sat and watched. this is the worst thing thats ever happened to me. maybe to anyone

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Clothing: hand wash only

Me, tossing it into the washer: may the odds be ever in your favor

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just remembered that there was a time when at this point in august id be going back to school shopping at the mall with my mom pic.twitter.com/HWUn7CYiOs

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being in your twenties means you meet the four horsemen of the apocalypse every night after 11pm: fear of failure, fear of lost potential, fear of incompetence, fear of loneliness

cam! (if I'm here tell me to write) 30.4/60k (@camiscribbles) August 15, 2023","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"cam! (if I'm here tell me to write) 30.4/60k","author_url":"https://twitter.com/camiscribbles","cache_age":86400,"description":"being in your twenties means you meet the four horsemen of the apocalypse every night after 11pm: fear of failure, fear of lost potential, fear of incompetence, fear of loneliness cam! (if I'm here tell me to write) 30.4/60k (@camiscribbles) August 15, 2023\n\n","options":{"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"cam! 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went to the beach today and i was showing a 5 year old girl how to tell if crabs are male or female and she had picked up two male crabs and she very gently made them kiss and then she looked at me and went theyre gay :)

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rip dracula u would have loved going down a water slide flat on your back arms crossed over your chest

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Australian Nobu be like pic.twitter.com/yEzFXQ1yXl

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obsessed with my dog. I spilled soup on the ottoman like a year ago and she got to lick some of it up, now sometimes ill walk into the living room and she is licking the ottoman just in case theres soup on it again, magically

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every time anya taylor-joy does a movie that isnt a period piece a fairy loses its wings

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Him: The dog is snoring really loud lately.

Me: Maybe we should get her a CPUP machine.

Him:

Me: Shut up that was good.

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Thank you Milwaukee airport for accurately naming that place right after you get through security. pic.twitter.com/EcMsIDMXxQ

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Today at my office I ran into a guy with a service dog getting off the elevator, and the dog beelined STRAIGHT to my side.

Me: Oh, hes so sweet!!! Can he tell if people are stressed?

Person: Hes a PTSD dog.

Me:

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i just need to make a ton of major life changes and i'll be fine

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