do you ever leave a social situation and you're just like mmm that was not my best work

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My aunt who has never been married before told my cousin braids arent appropriate to wear for her wedding. I asked her what hairstyle did she wear when she got married. Now everyone is yelling. I was just asking a question

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Adulting is constantly saying \"I'm not free that day, can you do this date?\" Back and forth for 3 months.

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HE PROPOSED!!!!! to the girl he dated after me!

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Dad jokes are ok but Mom Jokes are insisting that a squirrel she sees a lot is the mayor of the neighborhood and every time you talk she says \"I saw the mayor today.\"

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\"come back to the office, we have bees now\" doesn't do anything for me, personally https://t.co/LaVX0vD9eE

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i just talked to everyone in the grocery store that youre at they all said youre acting super weird and they know that youre high

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I was showing my vaccine card at a bar last night and one of my friends was like, oh, its not laminated or anything? and I felt likea whore

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Delta CEO calling the delta variant by its formal name pic.twitter.com/71UlTYKwBn

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A juul is just an adult binky.

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thinking about the guy who I hooked up with 8 months ago and his girlfriend who just tagged him in her \"Happy one year\" post on instagram

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Your honor whats the move after this like whats everyone getting into

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Huge shoutout to the girl in my building who lets her hellofresh rot in the mail room every week u make me feel like albert einstein honestly

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When yall got nothing in common but you vibe pic.twitter.com/n8xDu8WYg1

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genuinely happy for the 38 people nationwide who were waiting on fda approval.

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Do I want better photos of myself? Yes. Do I refuse to let anyone take a photo of me? Also yes.

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sometimes people you know are like im a people pleaser and its like are you? youve never pleased me.

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pronouncing milk crates the same way i would socrates

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me this week walking into a dive bar in my hometown pic.twitter.com/v1g9GBT7Aq

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disgusted to report that walking a mile or so three times a week has, in fact, improved my general body condition and chronic pain level. it's bullshit that exercise people are right

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