well, well, well if it isnt all my well deal with it in January chickens home to roost

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The feminine urge to open a bookstore that is also a coffee shop and bakery and a flower shop

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I like to think of Amy (burrito) and Annie (mac n cheese) as estranged sisters

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The Evangelical girls in my class who weren't allowed to read \"Harry Potter\" because it \"had witchcraft\" now think they can cure measles with essential oils. Who is in potions class now, Gracelynn?

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all these men vying for Speaker and none running to be Listener. makes u think

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In endless pursuit of a shoe that can only be described as orthopedic but slutty

I would prefer not to (lolennui@mstdn.social) (@lolennui) December 31, 2022","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"I would prefer not to (lolennui@mstdn.social)","author_url":"https://twitter.com/lolennui","cache_age":86400,"description":"In endless pursuit of a shoe that can only be described as orthopedic but slutty I would prefer not to (lolennui@mstdn.social) (@lolennui) December 31, 2022\n\n","options":{"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"I would prefer not to (lolennui@mstdn.social) on 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i think part of the reason ppl cry during wedding speeches is bc theyve never heard their sibling say something kind about them

Sydney Battle (@SydneyBattle) January 2, 2023","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Sydney Battle","author_url":"https://twitter.com/SydneyBattle","cache_age":86400,"description":"i think part of the reason ppl cry during wedding speeches is bc theyve never heard their sibling say something kind about them Sydney Battle (@SydneyBattle) January 2, 2023\n\n","options":{"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"Sydney Battle on 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PSA: When I said lets pick it up in the new year I meant from Monday 9th.

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sorry straight women but it's super messed up to kiss a guy at midnight i mean it's New Year's Eve not New Year's Steve

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Its always dry January when you have eczema

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gabriella montez was reading at the New Years party because she was trying to complete her goodreads challenge before midnight

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the ugliest version of me is the version that comes out when I play board games. idk who she is but she is a monster she is not fit for human interaction

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mic up random congress people like it's a nba game

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Whenever a man is in love he'll write \"she is the strongest person i've ever known\" on his birthday post to her and it's like what did u do to her kyle

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MY DASHER IS WHO???? pic.twitter.com/ddCH65Kx7P

mickey (@joyridlng) January 2, 2023","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"mickey ","author_url":"https://twitter.com/joyridlng","cache_age":86400,"description":"MY DASHER IS WHO???? pic.twitter.com/ddCH65Kx7P mickey (@joyridlng) January 2, 2023\n\n","options":{"_hide_media":{"label":"Hide photos, videos, and cards","value":false},"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","thumbnail_height":983,"thumbnail_url":"https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FlfelkkWYAAC5_d.jpg:large","thumbnail_width":1170,"title":"mickey on 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When I watched Ratatouille I was like \"there's no way that rat could control that guy\", then I remember I let a rat control me for a year and a half

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Seinfeld is the best show ever. Nobody wants to work. Nobody has career goals. Nobody wants to start a family. All they wanna do is get laid and hang out with their friends. It's so inspirational.

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i prefer giving people the hot shoulder (never leaving them alone)

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first dates in your 30s are awesome because you get to be asked when you want kids by someone you have no chemistry with

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me every single night of the year: *stays up til 1am dicking around on the internet for absolutely no reason*

me on december 31: stay up until MIDNIGHT??? in THIS economy?????? SIR. good NIGHT

emma lord (@dilemmalord) January 1, 2023","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"emma lord","author_url":"https://twitter.com/dilemmalord","cache_age":86400,"description":"me every single night of the year: *stays up til 1am dicking around on the internet for absolutely no reason* me on december 31: stay up until MIDNIGHT??? in THIS economy?????? 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If you really love learning languages, you should learn Arabic, because no matter what, you will have to keep learning it for your entire life

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https://t.co/R62VRQQYAe pic.twitter.com/KvDGI8cKpz

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I know I had a job 10 days ago I just can't seem to remember how to do it now.

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One thing about me..I will press 0 for the rest of my life until a real person answers the phone. Idc.

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Friend: \"Send me that picture we took last night, we probably look so good!\"

The picture: pic.twitter.com/VJnbw9gKbs

Invis (@invis4yo) January 4, 2023","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Invis","author_url":"https://twitter.com/invis4yo","cache_age":86400,"description":"Friend: \"Send me that picture we took last night, we probably look so good!\"The picture: pic.twitter.com/VJnbw9gKbs Invis (@invis4yo) January 4, 2023\n\n","options":{"_hide_media":{"label":"Hide photos, videos, and cards","value":false},"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","thumbnail_height":792,"thumbnail_url":"https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FlmIOQ4aMAAB7wQ.jpg:large","thumbnail_width":1091,"title":"Invis on 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My favorite student eval from this past semester: \"The class did not have the most thrilling content so I think she did the best that she could\"

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I would like to have a word with whoever it was that decided that all plus size people were into \"fun sleeves\"

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why did nobody tell me we were apparently supposed to have spent the year filming short videos clips of everything we did for an end of year Instagram reel!!! all Ive got are pictures like a geriatric millennial!!!!

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Yes life is hard now but in the early 2000s your coworkers could secretly nominate you for What Not to Wear.

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sometimes i'm like why am i irrationally angry and then i'm like oh there's an overhead light on

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