used to work at a call centre, and the substitutes ppl use when they dont know the phonetic alphabet are so funny. why did this man say C for Czechoslovakia

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the summer i turned pretty is relatable if you were flirtily thrown into pools by boys as a teen & frankly that is a corner of the sky i will never know

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Hearing disturbing rumors that some of these protestors on the picket line are professional actors

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While were worrying about AI, the bollards are planning a global revolution pic.twitter.com/grhb3kYGPr

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got home last night to my sweet, thoughtful boyfriend surprising me with a fresh batch of brownies. ate a few then left them in the kitchen for an hour and came back to this pic.twitter.com/ZlftdJPGzP

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barbenheimer is the closest weve come to having school spirit week as adults

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The man that invented the Ferris wheel never met the man that invented the merry go round.

They traveled in different circles.

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So humiliating when I go get ice cream with people who order flavors like Earl Gray or Lavender or Lemon and then my greedy ass orders like Chocolate Chipper Double Dipper Brownie Explosion Landslide

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made her look pro-brexit lol https://t.co/5QMiAmPaWe

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Me, as a kid: Im not going to grow up to be a boring adult.

Me, as an adult: *has a favorite tree I like looking at on my way to work*

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My therapist had no idea there was a Barbie movie coming out. She said its live action? I said yeah. She said this year?

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Soft launch this hard launch that, back in my day if you were even slightly interested in someone youd post full photos of them on main for mcm or wcw

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Pete Davidson has the opportunity to do the funniest possible thing https://t.co/iGk7tx2LLl

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Everybody's talking about girl dinner, but nobody's talking about grandpa breakfast (you drink black coffee and complain with 2-3 friends)

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Please let the strike end so writers can get back to writing scripts instead of 27-tweet threads to make every little point.

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a man invited me to the Barbie movie? on opening night? as if I would watch that movie for the first time in the presence of The Other Kind

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Received a Save the Date for a friends wedding in Chicago, followed (about 2 wks later) by an Un-save the Date explaining that they had decided to have a smaller ceremony with only family & close friends and I am no longer invited.

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thinking about this bar I worked at in college like yeah no wonder they went out of business lmao pic.twitter.com/trVM4yjMm8

jodie (@jodieegrace) July 17, 2023","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"jodie","author_url":"https://twitter.com/jodieegrace","cache_age":86400,"description":"thinking about this bar I worked at in college like yeah no wonder they went out of business lmao pic.twitter.com/trVM4yjMm8 jodie (@jodieegrace) July 17, 2023\n\n","options":{"_hide_media":{"label":"Hide photos, videos, and cards","value":false},"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"jodie on 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The boys must have been absolutely buzzing when The Boys Are Back In Town came out. Mens mental health at an all time high.

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life pro tip: one time someone said my own joke louder than me and everyone laughed but as my act of revenge i started saying the joke was kind of problematic n everyone started agreeing and turned on the joke thief

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Whoever runs the scoreboard at Coors Field is NOT OKAY. pic.twitter.com/lg5jcoIrDs

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I watched my first ever mission impossible yesterday and I am so fascinated by these movies . Ethan is forced to chose between his long term friend/girlfriend (?) and this random woman and hes like the choice is impossible all women are queens and somehow I believe him??

ethel KENiac (@evemmore) July 18, 2023","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"ethel KENiac","author_url":"https://twitter.com/evemmore","cache_age":86400,"description":"I watched my first ever mission impossible yesterday and I am so fascinated by these movies . 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Lmao okay this is funny pic.twitter.com/635cW7Tsaa

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my best friend and i made a pact that if were both still single when were 40 we will go on a horrifying nationwide crime spree

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3rd base is when i have a panic attack in front of you

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Whats a girl supposed to do with her life when shes blessed with a certain je ne sais quoi but no discernible practical skills what do I do with this star power

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sorry i ruined the vibe by bringing up logistics until the plan was fully formed and feasible

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