do u think my therapist is ever like man i hope it is a gossip day today and not a trauma day

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That's definitely something a haunted chair would say.. pic.twitter.com/YPeblZtYu7

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I dont think we talk enough about how incredible it was that Obama put Fleabag on one of his favorites lists when the first episode features her getting off to him speaking. True perfection.

Amy (@amymelissaestes) May 29, 2022","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Amy","author_url":"https://twitter.com/amymelissaestes","cache_age":86400,"description":"I dont think we talk enough about how incredible it was that Obama put Fleabag on one of his favorites lists when the first episode features her getting off to him speaking. True perfection. 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Telling a doctor giving me a mammogram my eyes are up here

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i just need people to understand that before cell phones we had to call landlines and your friend's parents would answer and YOU HAD TO TALK TO THEIR PARENTS until your friend came to the phone

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best job in the world? probably the guy who gets to write Ice Ts dialogue on law and order SVU pic.twitter.com/dVNzjtUoUt

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People w babies are like Id love to do lunch, hows 9:45am?

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I once had a girl in uni tell me I should adopt a stage name as mine is too Asian/hard to pronounce. When I pointed out HER last name was literally Butts & she planned on teaching middle school she said so what

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19 year old go on Love Island and are like \"I've never had a long term relationship\"

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I recently learned that my husband only opens instagram once every 4-6 weeks to check our local ice cream parlor's flavor of the month......it is just....an ice cream flavor checker for him....amazing

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when guys on dating apps ask me who my favourite philosopher is i make up a random german sounding name. half of the time they oh yeah ive read some of his stuff

eilidh (@beauvoirbaddie) June 1, 2022","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"eilidh","author_url":"https://twitter.com/beauvoirbaddie","cache_age":86400,"description":"when guys on dating apps ask me who my favourite philosopher is i make up a random german sounding name. half of the time they oh yeah ive read some of his stuff eilidh (@beauvoirbaddie) June 1, 2022\n\n","options":{"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"eilidh on 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If u rob a container store does that count as organized crime?

Emily Murnane (@emily_murnane) May 31, 2022","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Emily Murnane","author_url":"https://twitter.com/emily_murnane","cache_age":86400,"description":"If u rob a container store does that count as organized crime? 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once again I have an appointment at 1:30 so I have no choice but to spend all morning doing nothing

ely kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) May 27, 2022","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"ely kreimendahl","author_url":"https://twitter.com/ElyKreimendahl","cache_age":86400,"description":"once again I have an appointment at 1:30 so I have no choice but to spend all morning doing nothing ely kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) May 27, 2022\n\n","options":{"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"ely kreimendahl on 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Prehistoric planet is awesome. They show u the most fucked up monster youve ever seen and say these guys had a dry sense of humor and they loveddd to tell each other secrets! This one is shy. And im like okay. I guess I have to take your word for it

raina (@quakerraina) May 28, 2022","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"raina","author_url":"https://twitter.com/quakerraina","cache_age":86400,"description":"Prehistoric planet is awesome. They show u the most fucked up monster youve ever seen and say these guys had a dry sense of humor and they loveddd to tell each other secrets! This one is shy. And im like okay. 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Just once Id like to see her win pic.twitter.com/CePIWOLE2J

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Asked my dad and uncle why they werent chatting and my uncle goes were done chatting for today and my dad nods and they continue watching tv in silence

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a guys favorite hilarious joke is responding to any question with No. haha jk of course you can

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the day insta gets a viewed your profile feature ima just have to log out.

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covid is running through my friend group faster than a moderately charming improv comedian in his late 20s

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sorry i was weird last night. it was to move the plot forward

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