Im watching a show where the captions keep saying indistinct .babe your job is to make it distinct for us are you quiet quitting

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i love it when i can tell a friend is doing their content rounds. thank you for sending me a tweet and a tiktok during your shift at the post factory queen. see you again in 2-8 hours

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the girl version of the roman empire is constantly thinking about that one thing that happened 7 years ago

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long-term relationships are all about developing a dialect so embarrassing youd rather be shot than have audio of your daily conversations leak

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would you like to check your account balance? god no. my balance is none of my business

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its soo important to ask yourself challenging questions like should i eat dinner before i shower or after?? and ultimately become so paralyzed by indecision that it becomes too late to do either

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The first year husband & I were married he YELLED out in the middle of the night. I startled awake and asked what was wrong and he said, I had a dream that you rolled over and your face was actually a demon face.

And then he went back to sleep.

Reader, I did not.

emily (@emilykmay) September 19, 2023","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"emily","author_url":"https://twitter.com/emilykmay","cache_age":86400,"description":"The first year husband & I were married he YELLED out in the middle of the night. 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a walk of shame but the kind where you emerge from your home at 6:21 PM, buy several beverages, and go back inside

Eve (@eve_kenneally) September 17, 2023","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Eve","author_url":"https://twitter.com/eve_kenneally","cache_age":86400,"description":"a walk of shame but the kind where you emerge from your home at 6:21 PM, buy several beverages, and go back inside Eve (@eve_kenneally) September 17, 2023\n\n","options":{"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"Eve on 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my favorite pride & prejudice 2005 lore was that rosamund pike and simon woods were exes, joe wright and rosamund were dating, and keira and rupert friend were dating all at the same time during filming. a messy british affair just like jane austen would have wanted

aria (@rnostardently) September 16, 2023","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"aria","author_url":"https://twitter.com/rnostardently","cache_age":86400,"description":"my favorite pride & prejudice 2005 lore was that rosamund pike and simon woods were exes, joe wright and rosamund were dating, and keira and rupert friend were dating all at the same time during filming. a messy british affair just like jane austen would have wanted aria (@rnostardently) September 16, 2023\n\n","options":{"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"aria on 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yeah i think about the roman empire pic.twitter.com/q7mp8V5JLI

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need to eat a cosmic brownie rn i want to feel like im eating radioactive plastic

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I tried donating blood today. Never again. Way too many questions. Whose blood is that? Where did you get it from? Why is it in a bucket?

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YALL NEED TO UTILZE GOOGLE. pic.twitter.com/iG0IYn4iZW

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i got the covid booster and a flu shot earlier today and the guy giving it to me was like are you getting this for school or work? and i panicked and said for fun

evelyn gee frick (@evelyngfrick) September 18, 2023","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"evelyn gee frick","author_url":"https://twitter.com/evelyngfrick","cache_age":86400,"description":"i got the covid booster and a flu shot earlier today and the guy giving it to me was like are you getting this for school or work? and i panicked and said for fun evelyn gee frick (@evelyngfrick) September 18, 2023\n\n","options":{"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"evelyn gee frick on 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