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Posted: 2024-09-17T09:45:48Z | Updated: 2024-09-17T09:45:48Z

Now that the kids are back in school, parents have all this extra time on their hands its not like we have to work, keep a household running and feed a table filled with picky eaters every night, or that were not already drowning in grading apps with new passwords, athletic uniform orders, and Mom, I have this project due ... tomorrow.

But no, please invite me to an evening event with no childcare provided in the middle of the week. Ill be delighted to attend and will have no trouble making it on time.

Here, we round of the thoughts of some of the funniest parents on X (formerly Twitter) regarding the annual tradition that is back-to-school night.

Went to my kids back to school night tonight, used the girls bathroom, reminisced about the old school TP of our youth that was essentially American cheese sized squares made of sandpaper.

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Went to my kids back to school night tonight, used the girls bathroom, reminisced about the old school TP of our youth that was essentially American cheese sized squares made of sandpaper.

redyellowgreendance (@RYGdance) September 20, 2023

Sometimes I'm super classy and other times I accidentally wear a brewery hat to Back to School night

Tonight was other times

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Sometimes I'm super classy and other times I accidentally wear a brewery hat to Back to School night

Tonight was other times

Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) September 12, 2024

At back to school night resist the following urges:
Pointing out typos on the teacher's PowerPoint presentation.
Saying loudly, 'Oh fuck that noise' when asked to volunteer for the school carnival.
Hitting a vape.
Stealing post-it notes from the teacher's desk.

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At back to school night resist the following urges:
Pointing out typos on the teacher's PowerPoint presentation.
Saying loudly, 'Oh fuck that noise' when asked to volunteer for the school carnival.
Hitting a vape.
Stealing post-it notes from the teacher's desk.

CynicalTherapist (@CynicalTherapi1) September 22, 2023

Huh. Well I just had more parents come into the library during back to school night than ever before

It only took me 8 years to think to prop the doors open to make the room more clearly welcoming. It worked like a charm

Kelsey Bogan (DontYouShushMe.Com) (@kelseybogan) September 8, 2023","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Kelsey Bogan (DontYouShushMe.Com)","author_url":"https://twitter.com/kelseybogan","cache_age":86400,"description":"Huh. Well I just had more parents come into the library during back to school night than ever beforeIt only took me 8 years to think to prop the doors open to make the room more clearly welcoming. 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Huh. Well I just had more parents come into the library during back to school night than ever before

It only took me 8 years to think to prop the doors open to make the room more clearly welcoming. It worked like a charm

Kelsey Bogan (DontYouShushMe.Com) (@kelseybogan) September 8, 2023

Tonight at back to school night we learned our 3 year old loves going around the preschool pretending to serve everyone drinks and when the teachers ask what it is he says its alcohol

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Tonight at back to school night we learned our 3 year old loves going around the preschool pretending to serve everyone drinks and when the teachers ask what it is he says its alcohol

Sara Mauskopf (@sm) September 13, 2023

We thought our son was excited for us to attend Back-to-School night so we could meet his teacherTurns out, his actual excitement was bc he couldnt wait to show us the bathroom stall he had carefully chosento do all the pooping in.

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We thought our son was excited for us to attend Back-to-School night so we could meet his teacherTurns out, his actual excitement was bc he couldnt wait to show us the bathroom stall he had carefully chosento do all the pooping in.

DonutHawk (@StruggleDisplay) August 10, 2022

Attending Back-to-School night so excuse me while I spend 3 days signing up for all the websites and apps.

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Attending Back-to-School night so excuse me while I spend 3 days signing up for all the websites and apps.

Rachel Vindman (@natsechobbyist) September 6, 2024

Look all Im saying is that if they invite all the parents to Back To School Night, they should crown one of us Hottest Dad

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Look all Im saying is that if they invite all the parents to Back To School Night, they should crown one of us Hottest Dad

Night Hot Hands Brit (@JawnTheBeloved) September 7, 2023

Currently attending back to school night....im really an old ass parent now

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Currently attending back to school night....im really an old ass parent now

The Kidd (@Yung_TrizzleMan) September 28, 2023

Heres a billion dollar idea - childcare (plus dinner for the kids) at Back to School night.

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Heres a billion dollar idea - childcare (plus dinner for the kids) at Back to School night.

Laura Norkin (@inLaurasWords) September 18, 2023

If youre at parent back to school night and some 55yo looks outstanding in jean cutoffs and the non-divorced parents are holding hands and extroverts are having a popularity contest and someones older sibling was waitlisted at Harvard and you walk out into the 90 dusk

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If youre at parent back to school night and some 55yo looks outstanding in jean cutoffs and the non-divorced parents are holding hands and extroverts are having a popularity contest and someones older sibling was waitlisted at Harvard and you walk out into the 90 dusk

StateOfKate (@StateofKate) August 25, 2023

Not me showing up to back to school night with my kids a day too soon. Back to bed I go.

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Not me showing up to back to school night with my kids a day too soon. Back to bed I go.

Foxworth07 (@bfoxworth07) August 14, 2024

Middle school parents should receive a basket at back to school night including:
Botox vouchers.
Advil.
Hair dye for greys.
A small slab of a safe material that wont cause harm, to bang your head against when the need arises. Which is going to be a lot.

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Middle school parents should receive a basket at back to school night including:
Botox vouchers.
Advil.
Hair dye for greys.
A small slab of a safe material that wont cause harm, to bang your head against when the need arises. Which is going to be a lot.

Rachel Sobel (@whinecheezits) March 21, 2022

Going to Back to School night tonight at my son's school which is truly the most adult thing I've ever done, including getting married, giving birth, and taking my car to a car wash without my dad.

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Going to Back to School night tonight at my son's school which is truly the most adult thing I've ever done, including getting married, giving birth, and taking my car to a car wash without my dad.

Lucy Huber (@clhubes) October 6, 2022

Went to back to school night and saw a poem my daughter wrote and she said our house was clean so now she gets cupcakes for dinner.

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Went to back to school night and saw a poem my daughter wrote and she said our house was clean so now she gets cupcakes for dinner.

@itssherifield (@itssherifield) September 25, 2023

Just canceled my birthday date night to go to 6th grade back-to-school night, AMA.

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Just canceled my birthday date night to go to 6th grade back-to-school night, AMA.

Courtney Ellis (@courtneyellis) August 26, 2024

The correct response to back-to-school parent night emails is not will there be wine?

I know this now

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The correct response to back-to-school parent night emails is not will there be wine?

I know this now

mom mom mom mom mom (@notmythirdrodeo) September 7, 2022

i have never said a sentence that made me age faster in real time than i wanted to go to the linkin park reunion concert but i cant because its Back to School Night at preschool

Katie Chironis (@kchironis) September 8, 2024","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Katie Chironis","author_url":"https://twitter.com/kchironis","cache_age":86400,"description":"i have never said a sentence that made me age faster in real time than i wanted to go to the linkin park reunion concert but i cant because its Back to School Night at preschool Katie Chironis (@kchironis) September 8, 2024\n\n\n","options":{"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"Katie Chironis on Twitter / 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i have never said a sentence that made me age faster in real time than i wanted to go to the linkin park reunion concert but i cant because its Back to School Night at preschool

Katie Chironis (@kchironis) September 8, 2024

Back to school night and Im feelin very demuretsy

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Back to school night and Im feelin very demuretsy

Emily (@emily_tweets) September 4, 2024

Forgot to take a pic of my Kindergartener at Back to School night. Please dont call Child Protective Services on me.

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Forgot to take a pic of my Kindergartener at Back to School night. Please dont call Child Protective Services on me.

Jennifer Parker (@Mrs_JParker) August 18, 2023

I told my girls I left them something in their classrooms at back to school night and they asked if it was a laptop.

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I told my girls I left them something in their classrooms at back to school night and they asked if it was a laptop.

@itssherifield (@itssherifield) September 23, 2022

Back to school night on NFL kickoff Thursday? Might have to change school districts.

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Back to school night on NFL kickoff Thursday? Might have to change school districts.

Brian Peacock (@BDPeacock) September 8, 2023