My son told me I ruined hannukah--which is particularly impressive of me considering that we're not Jewish and dont observe the holiday.

martha dumptruck (@sa1martha) January 6, 2022","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"martha dumptruck ","author_url":"https://twitter.com/sa1martha","cache_age":86400,"description":"My son told me I ruined hannukah--which is particularly impressive of me considering that we're not Jewish and dont observe the holiday. martha dumptruck (@sa1martha) January 6, 2022\n\n\n","options":{"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"martha dumptruck on Twitter / 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December dilemma solved: celebrate 4 nights of Hannukah if your kid is half Jewish.

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Oh great, my child has finally moved on from that annoying television show he was obsessed withimmediately after I already bought all of the annoying television show-themed hannukah gifts.

Robyn Caplan (@robyncaplan) November 30, 2023","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Robyn Caplan","author_url":"https://twitter.com/robyncaplan","cache_age":86400,"description":"Oh great, my child has finally moved on from that annoying television show he was obsessed withimmediately after I already bought all of the annoying television show-themed hannukah gifts. 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Me; What did you get Dad for #Hannukah?

14yr old; Well, Yknow how hes always stressed out?!

Me; Yeah...

14yr old; Well, I got him stress balls that come in a ballsack

tara strong (@tarastrong) December 1, 2018","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"tara strong","author_url":"https://twitter.com/tarastrong","cache_age":86400,"description":"Me; What did you get Dad for #Hannukah?14yr old; Well, Yknow how hes always stressed out?!Me; Yeah...14yr old; Well, I got him stress balls that come in a ballsack tara strong (@tarastrong) December 1, 2018\n\n\n","options":{"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"tara strong on Twitter / 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Me: Hey kiddo, theres an Easter egg hunt in the neighborhood. Want to go?

5 year old daughter: Um, arent we Hannukah people?

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happy oh fuck do i have hannukah candles??!? to all those who celebrate

leigh (@daughter_ion) December 18, 2022","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"leigh","author_url":"https://twitter.com/daughter_ion","cache_age":86400,"description":"happy oh fuck do i have hannukah candles??!? to all those who celebrate leigh (@daughter_ion) December 18, 2022\n\n\n","options":{"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"leigh on Twitter / 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Lyrics to the song my daughter is making up and singing to herself in bed:

Hannukah
Hannukah
You dont have to go potty at Hannukah!
Flush and wash
Hannukah!

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To those who wonder about the eight nights of gifts during Hanukkah and if we really do get eight nights of presents...

This only happens when youre a kid and, yes, one of those nights will involve socks and underwear as the present.#hannukah

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It's a Hannukah miracle: one kid gets the sniffles & the entire family is sick for eight days.

Michael Grunwald (@MikeGrunwald) December 18, 2014","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Michael Grunwald","author_url":"https://twitter.com/MikeGrunwald","cache_age":86400,"description":"It's a Hannukah miracle: one kid gets the sniffles & the entire family is sick for eight days. 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I though 10yrs would be a good age to play The Hannukah Song by Adam Sandler to my daughter. She didnt find it amusing. Now Im sad because she has to live somewhere else. Anyone looking for a child with a sense of humor that sucks?

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TEACHER: \"Alright kids, I'm thinking of something that has to do with Christmas...\"
KID: \"HANNUKAH!!!\"#shitkidsatmyworksay

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Being a Jewish kid of divorce can't be all bad. You get 16 hannukah's.

zach reinert (@zachreinert0) July 4, 2017","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"zach reinert","author_url":"https://twitter.com/zachreinert0","cache_age":86400,"description":"Being a Jewish kid of divorce can't be all bad. 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kids are sending me a hannukah/xmas list... item by item to me via messenger... Lord help me cause the dinging is perpetual.

gigachoad.eth 2693.eth (@CluelessMaven) November 30, 2023","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"gigachoad.eth 2693.eth","author_url":"https://twitter.com/CluelessMaven","cache_age":86400,"description":"kids are sending me a hannukah/xmas list... item by item to me via messenger... 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Hannukah means my targeted advertising is mostly targeted at my kid and, huh, maybe I do want a \"rollercoaster engineering kit.\"

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Convo with my almost 5 year old:
Me: Because were Jewish, we get some different holidays.
Kid: Like what?
Me: Like Hannukah.
Kid: And Halloween!
Me: Well, no.
Kid: And Christmas!
Me: Not in the way you think.

Definitely going to have to circle back to this conversation.

Andrew Gross (@grossap) October 28, 2021","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Andrew Gross","author_url":"https://twitter.com/grossap","cache_age":86400,"description":"Convo with my almost 5 year old:Me: Because were Jewish, we get some different holidays.Kid: Like what?Me: Like Hannukah.Kid: And Halloween!Me: Well, no.Kid: And Christmas!Me: Not in the way you think.Definitely going to have to circle back to this conversation. 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The kids have a new toy whose batteries already died.

Then they tried turning it on and it worked for several more hours.

They have proclaimed this as some sort of modern day miracle.

Like Hannukah.

But with toy batteries.

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Its the first night of Hannukah tonight but our first miracle came this morning. Our 2-year-old and 4-year-old played together for two full hours, without a single scream, argument, or conflict needing parent intervention.

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2nd grader: what are you doing this weekend Ms. Merdinger?

Me: decorating my house for Hannukah.

2nd grader: oh right cause youre jermish?

Me: yep. cause im jermish.

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Some nights of Hannukah I really phone it in. Like night 2 when I gave the kid a pen with a koala lid. The woman at the store thought it was for me and congratulated me on choosing a pen no one could steal at the office w/o getting caught. Anyway tonight I rocked it.

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Whenever I make cupcakes my kid pretends its one of her dolls birthdays. We lit a candle and sang them happy b-day and when ruby blew out the candle she goes, Wow! Its smells like Hannukah in here!

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