Funny Tweets About Kids And Their Snacks | HuffPost Life

It is a universally acknowledged truth that if you are in the company of a child, that child will ask you for a snack and you better have one on hand or be able to procure one quickly.

All childcare, at its heart, is really about keeping kids fed at least in the U.S. They say that in France kids all eat on the same schedule and have precisely one snack per day at 4:00pm, but bon chance getting that to work here in the land of hot dogs and Doritos.

Below, some of the funniest parents on X (formerly Twitter) describe the very special relationship kids have to their snacks, and the providers thereof.

Me: Do you have any additional questions for me?

Interviewer: Yes, you put snack bitch extraordinaire on your resume, would you like to elaborate?

Me: I have three children. I think that explains it.

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Me: Do you have any additional questions for me?

Interviewer: Yes, you put snack bitch extraordinaire on your resume, would you like to elaborate?

Me: I have three children. I think that explains it.
Professional Worrier (@pro_worrier_) August 20, 2020

Im never more full of shit than when I tell my kid thats her last snack until dinner.

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Im never more full of shit than when I tell my kid thats her last snack until dinner.
Marissa (@michimama75) November 12, 2021

My toddler can hear a single goldfish cracker hit her plastic snack container from across the house while the T.V. and Alexa are both on but she cant hear me when Im standing right behind her saying its time for bed.

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My toddler can hear a single goldfish cracker hit her plastic snack container from across the house while the T.V. and Alexa are both on but she cant hear me when Im standing right behind her saying its time for bed.
NewDadNotes (@NewDadNotes) June 14, 2018

Always a snack getter, never a snack receiver

Jennifer Parker (@Mrs_JParker) October 7, 2024","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Jennifer Parker","author_url":"https://twitter.com/Mrs_JParker","cache_age":86400,"description":"Always a snack getter, never a snack receiver Jennifer Parker (@Mrs_JParker) October 7, 2024\n\n\n","options":{"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"Jennifer Parker on Twitter / 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Always a snack getter, never a snack receiver
Jennifer Parker (@Mrs_JParker) October 7, 2024

Parenting drinking game:

Carry around a hip flask and take a swig every time your kid asks for a snack.

Ha! Just kidding, don't do that. You'll die.#parenting #dadlife

Dadding Around (@DaddingAround) June 3, 2019","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Dadding Around","author_url":"https://twitter.com/DaddingAround","cache_age":86400,"description":"Parenting drinking game:Carry around a hip flask and take a swig every time your kid asks for a snack.Ha! Just kidding, don't do that. 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Parenting drinking game:

Carry around a hip flask and take a swig every time your kid asks for a snack.

Ha! Just kidding, don't do that. You'll die.#parenting #dadlife
Dadding Around (@DaddingAround) June 3, 2019

5 love languages of children:

Words of affirmation: You make the best snacks, Momma!

Quality time: Eating snacks together

Gift giving: Sharing their snack

Physical Touch: Sitting on me while eating their snacks

Acts of Service: Cleaning up their dish after a snack

Momsense Ensues (@momsense_ensues) June 29, 2020","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Momsense Ensues","author_url":"https://twitter.com/momsense_ensues","cache_age":86400,"description":"5 love languages of children: Words of affirmation: You make the best snacks, Momma! 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5 love languages of children:

Words of affirmation: You make the best snacks, Momma!

Quality time: Eating snacks together

Gift giving: Sharing their snack

Physical Touch: Sitting on me while eating their snacks

Acts of Service: Cleaning up their dish after a snack
Momsense Ensues (@momsense_ensues) June 29, 2020

my kid: can I have a snack please?

me: what would you like?

my kid: I know exactly what very specific thing I want but I'm going to make you guess without giving you any clues

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my kid: can I have a snack please?

me: what would you like?

my kid: I know exactly what very specific thing I want but I'm going to make you guess without giving you any clues
The Dad (@thedad) February 3, 2020

I bet this is a good time to ask for a snack

- 4s thought bubble the moment after getting reprimanded for doing something shitty.

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I bet this is a good time to ask for a snack

- 4s thought bubble the moment after getting reprimanded for doing something shitty.
Tired Dad of 2 (@Tired_Dad_of_2) April 21, 2021

For anyone that thinks we (parents) exaggerate our jokes about kids and their snacks, my son just tried to convince me to save 4 mac n cheese noodles because I can eat it as a late night snack, probably

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For anyone that thinks we (parents) exaggerate our jokes about kids and their snacks, my son just tried to convince me to save 4 mac n cheese noodles because I can eat it as a late night snack, probably
MomTransparenting (@momtransparent1) July 14, 2019

A friend of mine asked how she can prepare for having kids, I told her next time she sits down to change a tampon to imagine a tiny version of herself crawling into her lap and asking for a snack.

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A friend of mine asked how she can prepare for having kids, I told her next time she sits down to change a tampon to imagine a tiny version of herself crawling into her lap and asking for a snack.
One Awkward Mom (@oneawkwardmom) May 16, 2023

The problem with expanding your kids palettes and having them eat what you eat, is that one day your sashimi-loving child will go into the fridge and chomp into a raw salmon filet assuming its a little snack

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The problem with expanding your kids palettes and having them eat what you eat, is that one day your sashimi-loving child will go into the fridge and chomp into a raw salmon filet assuming its a little snack
amil (@amil) April 24, 2023

I hate it when my kid beats me in an argument, like this morning when I told her Oreos arent breakfast food and she countered with, of course not, theyre the snack before breakfast

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I hate it when my kid beats me in an argument, like this morning when I told her Oreos arent breakfast food and she countered with, of course not, theyre the snack before breakfast
Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) September 20, 2023

5: mom can i have a lemon tongue?

me: wut

5: for a snack?

me:

5: a baby orange!

me: omg. yes, you may have a clementine

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5: mom can i have a lemon tongue?

me: wut

5: for a snack?

me:

5: a baby orange!

me: omg. yes, you may have a clementine
That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) July 1, 2021

Your mom name is Can + I + Have + a + Snack

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Your mom name is Can + I + Have + a + Snack
Amber Sparks (@ambernoelle) January 13, 2023

12yo informed me that my snack stash (which she regularly raids) is \"lackluster.\"

Me: Wow, that's a fancy word for a snack robber.

Babygirl: Sorry such basic vocabulary impresses you. I thought you were a professor.

Phew! Now if that ain't my child, I don't know who is

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12yo informed me that my snack stash (which she regularly raids) is "lackluster."

Me: Wow, that's a fancy word for a snack robber.

Babygirl: Sorry such basic vocabulary impresses you. I thought you were a professor.

Phew! Now if that ain't my child, I don't know who is
Uju Anya (@UjuAnya) October 21, 2024

4yo stole extra crackers at school and turned a playground tube into her snack lounge. She is highly pleased with herself for not getting caught.

I don't know whether to scold her or be proud of her.

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4yo stole extra crackers at school and turned a playground tube into her snack lounge. She is highly pleased with herself for not getting caught.

I don't know whether to scold her or be proud of her.
MommyingHard (@MommyingHard) October 22, 2024

I fell off a podium in front of 200 people after doing a reading at my uncles funeral, hobbled back to my pew with a swollen sprained ankle, sat down turned to my son and he asked me for a snack

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I fell off a podium in front of 200 people after doing a reading at my uncles funeral, hobbled back to my pew with a swollen sprained ankle, sat down turned to my son and he asked me for a snack
Mom Jeans (@momjeansplease) September 24, 2024

Me: *having a heartfelt moment with my child*

My child: Can I have a snack?

Jessie (@mommajessiec) August 31, 2023","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Jessie","author_url":"https://twitter.com/mommajessiec","cache_age":86400,"description":"Me: *having a heartfelt moment with my child*My child: Can I have a snack? 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Me: *having a heartfelt moment with my child*

My child: Can I have a snack?
Jessie (@mommajessiec) August 31, 2023

If my kid asks for one more snack imma give her a knuckle sandwich and some punch.

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If my kid asks for one more snack imma give her a knuckle sandwich and some punch.
@itssherifield (@itssherifield) February 22, 2023

On a family road trip with two adults and accompanying children, which is the harder role?

1. Driver
2. Passenger/referee/DJ/concierge/snack bitch?

Meg St-Esprit (@MegStEsprit) July 14, 2023","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Meg St-Esprit","author_url":"https://twitter.com/MegStEsprit","cache_age":86400,"description":"On a family road trip with two adults and accompanying children, which is the harder role? 1. Driver 2. Passenger/referee/DJ/concierge/snack bitch? 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On a family road trip with two adults and accompanying children, which is the harder role?

1. Driver
2. Passenger/referee/DJ/concierge/snack bitch?
Meg St-Esprit (@MegStEsprit) July 14, 2023

Kids are wild man. I told my 4 year old son he couldn't have a snack so his friend pulled a pudding out of his own bag, and gave it to my kid while looking me dead in the eye the entire time. Like get tf outta my house Jaxxon good luck in prison

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Kids are wild man. I told my 4 year old son he couldn't have a snack so his friend pulled a pudding out of his own bag, and gave it to my kid while looking me dead in the eye the entire time. Like get tf outta my house Jaxxon good luck in prison
Graham Kritzer (@GrahamKritzer) November 18, 2020

Its 1895 and youve just been sent to a seaside sanitarium to take the waters and recover from a bout of severe nervous exhaustion
You: *hears a knock*
You: *opens the door*
Your child: Can I have a snack

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Its 1895 and youve just been sent to a seaside sanitarium to take the waters and recover from a bout of severe nervous exhaustion
You: *hears a knock*
You: *opens the door*
Your child: Can I have a snack
Amber Sparks (@ambernoelle) December 23, 2023

Jack: Mummy, can I have a snack?

Wife: It's almost dinner time.

Jack: I asked for a snack, not what time it is.

Me:

Dadding Around (@DaddingAround) September 10, 2019","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Dadding Around","author_url":"https://twitter.com/DaddingAround","cache_age":86400,"description":"Jack: Mummy, can I have a snack?Wife: It's almost dinner time.Jack: I asked for a snack, not what time it is.Me: Dadding Around (@DaddingAround) September 10, 2019\n\n\n","options":{"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"Dadding Around on Twitter / 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Jack: Mummy, can I have a snack?

Wife: It's almost dinner time.

Jack: I asked for a snack, not what time it is.

Me:
Dadding Around (@DaddingAround) September 10, 2019

My kid asks for snacks like hes ordering soup in a restaurant.

What do you have?

Well, my love, I have exactly the same things I had when I last gave you a snack 5 minutes ago. The menu hasnt changed since then.

The Mom at Law (@TheMomAtLaw) September 2, 2019","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"The Mom at Law","author_url":"https://twitter.com/TheMomAtLaw","cache_age":86400,"description":"My kid asks for snacks like hes ordering soup in a restaurant.What do you have? Well, my love, I have exactly the same things I had when I last gave you a snack 5 minutes ago. The menu hasnt changed since then. 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My kid asks for snacks like hes ordering soup in a restaurant.

What do you have?

Well, my love, I have exactly the same things I had when I last gave you a snack 5 minutes ago. The menu hasnt changed since then.
The Mom at Law (@TheMomAtLaw) September 2, 2019

September school snack: homemade cookies, still warm, packed with a handwritten note.

June school snack: Lint-covered stale Goldfish from the bottom of my purse, wrapped in foil because there hasnt been a Ziploc bag in this house since May.

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September school snack: homemade cookies, still warm, packed with a handwritten note.

June school snack: Lint-covered stale Goldfish from the bottom of my purse, wrapped in foil because there hasnt been a Ziploc bag in this house since May.
Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) June 17, 2022

10yo: Can I have a snack?

Me: No, you'll spoil your dinner

10yo: Ok... can I have an appetizer?

Me:

10yo:

Me: That's genius but still no

The Dad (@thedad) December 5, 2022","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"The Dad","author_url":"https://twitter.com/thedad","cache_age":86400,"description":"10yo: Can I have a snack?Me: No, you'll spoil your dinner10yo: Ok... can I have an appetizer?Me:10yo:Me: That's genius but still no The Dad (@thedad) December 5, 2022\n\n\n","options":{"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"The Dad on Twitter / 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10yo: Can I have a snack?

Me: No, you'll spoil your dinner

10yo: Ok... can I have an appetizer?

Me:

10yo:

Me: That's genius but still no
The Dad (@thedad) December 5, 2022

5: Mommy, can I have a snack?

Me: No. Its 7 oclock in the morning. We dont eat snacks before we have our breakfast.

5: Well mommy, its not 7 oclock everywhere. We can have a snack now.

So apparently Its 5 oclock somewhere can be used for kid snack logic too.

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5: Mommy, can I have a snack?

Me: No. Its 7 oclock in the morning. We dont eat snacks before we have our breakfast.

5: Well mommy, its not 7 oclock everywhere. We can have a snack now.

So apparently Its 5 oclock somewhere can be used for kid snack logic too.
Goldfish and Chicken Nuggets (@gfishandnuggets) March 9, 2019

I am not feeling well today. My son walks up to me and rests his little lips against my cheek as if to give me a kiss. My heart inflates.

Then he moves his face slightly to hover over my ear and whispers Can I have snack now?

So. Love is a lie and I quit.

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I am not feeling well today. My son walks up to me and rests his little lips against my cheek as if to give me a kiss. My heart inflates.

Then he moves his face slightly to hover over my ear and whispers Can I have snack now?

So. Love is a lie and I quit.
Arianna Bradford (@thearibradford) September 6, 2019

Me: I need ideas for food to get at the store. Whats your favorite snack?
4yo: Watemelon!
Me: Ok...Why didnt you eat the watermelon I bought last week?
4yo: Ummm probably because I dont like watermelon.
Me: Great, this has been helpful.

Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) May 5, 2020","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Lurkin' Mom","author_url":"https://twitter.com/LurkAtHomeMom","cache_age":86400,"description":"Me: I need ideas for food to get at the store. Whats your favorite snack?4yo: Watemelon!Me: Ok...Why didnt you eat the watermelon I bought last week?4yo: Ummm probably because I dont like watermelon.Me: Great, this has been helpful. 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Me: I need ideas for food to get at the store. Whats your favorite snack?
4yo: Watemelon!
Me: Ok...Why didnt you eat the watermelon I bought last week?
4yo: Ummm probably because I dont like watermelon.
Me: Great, this has been helpful.
Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) May 5, 2020

Me: Snack?

4: anything please

Me: gold fish, apples, crackers and cheese, fruit bar, carrots?

4: whatever you want

Me: peaches, grapes, cheezits, pb&j, marshmallows, cheerios popsicles?

4: WHATEVER I DONT CARE

*brings snack*

4: *full on meltdown* NO NOT THAT!!!

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Me: Snack?

4: anything please

Me: gold fish, apples, crackers and cheese, fruit bar, carrots?

4: whatever you want

Me: peaches, grapes, cheezits, pb&j, marshmallows, cheerios popsicles?

4: WHATEVER I DONT CARE

*brings snack*

4: *full on meltdown* NO NOT THAT!!!
Not Another Pinterest Mom (@xennial_mom) September 22, 2022

i heard my five year old talking about her boyfriend so i asked what it meant to have a boyfriend

5: he gives me all his goldfish at snack time

looks like she gets this relationship stuff

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i heard my five year old talking about her boyfriend so i asked what it meant to have a boyfriend

5: he gives me all his goldfish at snack time

looks like she gets this relationship stuff
That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) January 6, 2022

Yesterday my kid walked past my husband, who was in the kitchen, all the way though the kitchen, and the laundry room, so that she could knock on the bathroom door, tell me it was emergency so that I would open the door, just to ask me for a snack.

Her dad was in the kitchen

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Yesterday my kid walked past my husband, who was in the kitchen, all the way though the kitchen, and the laundry room, so that she could knock on the bathroom door, tell me it was emergency so that I would open the door, just to ask me for a snack.

Her dad was in the kitchen
hahahaheater (@dishs_up) September 1, 2021

my 4yr old is mad she cant have a snack cause Im taking her to the dentist.

in the car she told me mommy swiped my snack container out of my hands.

I asked like Swiper the Fox from Dora? and she said yeah.

then she got quiet for a sec and muttered Swiper the Mommy.

NewDadNotes (@NewDadNotes) January 26, 2021","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"NewDadNotes","author_url":"https://twitter.com/NewDadNotes","cache_age":86400,"description":"my 4yr old is mad she cant have a snack cause Im taking her to the dentist.in the car she told me mommy swiped my snack container out of my hands. I asked like Swiper the Fox from Dora? and she said yeah.then she got quiet for a sec and muttered Swiper the Mommy. 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my 4yr old is mad she cant have a snack cause Im taking her to the dentist.

in the car she told me mommy swiped my snack container out of my hands.

I asked like Swiper the Fox from Dora? and she said yeah.

then she got quiet for a sec and muttered Swiper the Mommy.
NewDadNotes (@NewDadNotes) January 26, 2021

Give a child a snack, and you feed them for an hour.

Teach a child to get his own snack, and youll never have to cook dinner again.

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Give a child a snack, and you feed them for an hour.

Teach a child to get his own snack, and youll never have to cook dinner again.
Jessie (@mommajessiec) November 4, 2019

Mom, can I have a snack?

Mom, can I play Minecraft?

Mom, whats for dinner?

Mom, I cant sleep.

Me: *bleeding out of ears*

Mom, why are your ears bleeding? Can I have a snack?

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Mom, can I have a snack?

Mom, can I play Minecraft?

Mom, whats for dinner?

Mom, I cant sleep.

Me: *bleeding out of ears*

Mom, why are your ears bleeding? Can I have a snack?
ThisOneSays (@ThisOneSayz) December 31, 2020

My oldest child calls me Dad, the middle calls me Daddy, and my youngest calls me Can I Have A Snack?

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My oldest child calls me Dad, the middle calls me Daddy, and my youngest calls me Can I Have A Snack?
Richard Dean (@dad_on_my_feet) September 6, 2021

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Mom, can you get me a snack? asked the child, who was standing right next to their Dad.

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Mom, can you get me a snack? asked the child, who was standing right next to their Dad.
Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) July 5, 2022

My kids ask 100 questions per day and 99 of them are can we have a snack? and the one as they are going to bed is How is the Earth made?

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My kids ask 100 questions per day and 99 of them are can we have a snack? and the one as they are going to bed is How is the Earth made?
Tired Dad of 2 (@Tired_Dad_of_2) April 28, 2021