You never really were a boy, but you werent a girl. You just always sat somewhere in the middle, Louise Elder, otherwise known as my Nanny, once said to me. I later quoted these words in my second book, We Are Not Broken.

For as long back as I can remember, when Nanny spoke, everyone in the room would listen. She was the epitome of the Black grandmother archetype in the best way. She was the best cook Ive ever known, she played cards, talked shit, and could tell a story like no other. And you couldnt out-church my grandmother either. She was a missionary, president of the flower club, mother of the Mt. Zion AME church, and knew that Hymnal book inside and out even if she improvised the lyrics at times.

But what made her a true matriarch was the way she created a universe where I could feel seen and heard as a Black queer boy just trying to find their way.

Ive thought about her often during the last 15 months, which havent been the easiest for me. My day usually starts with a Google alert about my first book being banned or being on the verge of a ban in some state or school district. All Boys Arent Blue by George M. Johnson has been removed from the library shelves in the alert will read. My memoir is the third most challenged, second most banned/removed book in the country right now.

In these moments of hostility and systemic erasure, I continue to take solace in the fact that my grandmother prepared me for this world, leaving me with her words of affirmation and self-liberation. And those words became the catalyst for We Are Not Broken.

The project was birthed from one of her sayings. We called them her Nannyisms tidbits of wisdom that you could carry throughout life to get you through any and every situation. One of our favorites is: You gotta bring ass to get ass, which is essentially the equivalent of dont start no shit, wont be no shit. Whenever I feel under attack for my work, it only makes me write more. In telling my truth, I upset a lot of people who historically have denied its existence. So because they decided to start some shit by banning my book, I decided to give them something to be mad about. More books.

As I write this article on the verge of Black History Month, I think about the words of our ancestors as a guide to get us through our current times. Most times, these quotes are from people who we consider icons in this world. Whether it be Toni Morrison, Maya Angelou, James Baldwin or Martin Luther King, Jr., their words become our sword in a fight against a society that has never respected Blackness and a society that has never respected queerness. Alongside these titans run our ancestors who informed and influenced our agency and power. Their quotes rarely make it to the mainstream.

This is why I centered my grandmother in We Are Not Broken. After her passing in December of 2019, it was her resounding Nannyisms that got me through the grief. Theyd make me laugh, cry, or bring clarity to situations that I needed to make tough decisions on. She shaped my identity and liberated me in so many ways, and I wanted to gift that wisdom to anyone like me, trying to find their way.