You Might Be Blocking Happiness and Not Even Know It!

If you were raised in an unpredictable, volatile or drug-and-alcohol addicted home, you may have developed a Fear of Happiness.

In my family of origin, I learned that happiness, fun and gaiety could be swiftly followed by rage and/or withdrawal. As a result, I unconsciously began to fear Happiness, because sometimes it was followed by pain.

I also unconsciously attracted relationships that kept me in low-grade misery; a state of worry, anxiety and control, partly because I was fearful of too much good coming into my life. Then Id actually have something to lose!

After working 12-step recovery, I fell in love with an emotionally available, kind man who was head over heels for me. This is when things got worse.

The happier I was in the relationship, the more terrified I became that something awful would happen to my love. Id never felt so exposed and vulnerable.

How Do You Know if Youre Staying in a Toxic Relationship Because Youre Afraid to Be Happy?

Answer these questions:

1. When something good happens, do you downplay it because you worry the universe will take it away, or balance it out with something painful?

The cause of this might stem from being physically or emotionally abandoned by one of our important caregivers.

2. Do you feel shame when someone is kind to you, or something good happens to you, because you feel youre not worthy?

When we were children, someone mightve criticized us, and those voices live in our unconscious mind; constantly undermining our ability to feel worthy of love and happiness.

3. Were you taught Happiness is associated with laziness?

Many of us come from families where weve learned that if were happy we must be goofing off, not working hard enough, or not taking life seriously. Workaholism was our main value.

Choosing Happiness as a New Value

Below is a photo of me with my husband of sixteen years, because marrying him was the happiest choice Ive ever made.