44 Hilarious Tweets About Pizza | HuffPost Life

Hot, cold, thin crust, deep dish, extra cheese, pepperoni Americans love pizza and have strong opinions about it.

From the pineapple debate to the is pizza a vegetable? phenomenon, theres no shortage of pizza-themed discussions to be had. The beloved Italian dish also offers many opportunities for humor.

In honor of National Pizza Day, weve rounded up 44 hilarious tweets about pizza. Buon appetito!

Me: Well, it's late, I'm going to go to bed
Leftover pizza in my fridge: Lol but are you

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Me: Well, it's late, I'm going to go to bed
Leftover pizza in my fridge: Lol but are you
maura quint (@behindyourback) August 2, 2018

Them: You need to listen to your body more.

Body: You're old. And you want pizza.

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Them: You need to listen to your body more.

Body: You're old. And you want pizza.
Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) January 12, 2019

if I order pizza again this week may god strike me dead
[god strikes me]
[I'm dying]
quick I don't have long put the pizza to my lips

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if I order pizza again this week may god strike me dead
[god strikes me]
[I'm dying]
quick I don't have long put the pizza to my lips
Yes, I Like Wine Mancino-Williams (@Manda_like_wine) March 7, 2018

Someone is bringing me pizza this is what getting flowers must feel like

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Someone is bringing me pizza this is what getting flowers must feel like
Charlene deGuzman (@charstarlene) January 7, 2018

Doctor: Where does it hurt?
Me: *points to empty pizza box*

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Doctor: Where does it hurt?
Me: *points to empty pizza box*
moody monday (@mdob11) May 30, 2014

FYI: pizza will never break your heart or tell you your bangs are crooked

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FYI: pizza will never break your heart or tell you your bangs are crooked
Mary Charlene (@IamEnidColeslaw) August 27, 2012

People who don't eat the pizza crust:
1. Why do you do that
2. Can I have it

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People who don't eat the pizza crust:
1. Why do you do that
2. Can I have it
Mara Get Rid of the Nazis Wilson (@MaraWilson) March 25, 2015

This elevator smells like pizza at 9:30am and it makes me wonder if someone else is living a better life than me.

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This elevator smells like pizza at 9:30am and it makes me wonder if someone else is living a better life than me.
Lili Reinhart (@lilireinhart) January 17, 2018

I'm going to wear a skin-clearing face mask while eating a whole cheese pizza. I really hope they cancel each other out.

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I'm going to wear a skin-clearing face mask while eating a whole cheese pizza. I really hope they cancel each other out.
Lilly Singh (@IISuperwomanII) April 4, 2018

*while mindlessly, slowly eating an entire pizza* I don't know what to have for dinner

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*while mindlessly, slowly eating an entire pizza* I don't know what to have for dinner
maura quint (@behindyourback) March 4, 2018

me at 17: someone please come over i hate being alone

me at 23: leave the pizza at the front door then knock and go away

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me at 17: someone please come over i hate being alone

me at 23: leave the pizza at the front door then knock and go away
gary from teen mom (@garyfromteenmom) January 26, 2019

Wife: Do you mind if we have pizza two nights in a row?

Me: Will you marry me again?

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Wife: Do you mind if we have pizza two nights in a row?

Me: Will you marry me again?
James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 24, 2018

There are plenty of fish in the sea but I want pizza.

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There are plenty of fish in the sea but I want pizza.
Carbosly (@Carbosly) January 14, 2019

I react to seeing a pizza the way most women react when they see a baby. It makes me want another one of my own.

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I react to seeing a pizza the way most women react when they see a baby. It makes me want another one of my own.
Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) June 10, 2018

When someone takes the last slice of pizza. pic.twitter.com/OqL2CRCgxO

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When someone takes the last slice of pizza. pic.twitter.com/OqL2CRCgxO
Yes, I Like Wine Mancino-Williams (@Manda_like_wine) December 2, 2016

I think I need to eat a pizza. Just like an entire pizza.

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I think I need to eat a pizza. Just like an entire pizza.
Imani Gandy (@AngryBlackLady) January 19, 2018

porn is so unrealistic who would have sex while the pizza was getting cold so stupid

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porn is so unrealistic who would have sex while the pizza was getting cold so stupid
lauren ashley bishop (@sbellelauren) August 31, 2012

Dominoes is one marketing campaign away from just bringing you a pizza every morning unless you call to stop them first.

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Dominoes is one marketing campaign away from just bringing you a pizza every morning unless you call to stop them first.
maura quint (@behindyourback) November 1, 2014

I was going to save the rest of this pizza for later and not eat it right now but then I remembered that's not really who I am as a person.

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I was going to save the rest of this pizza for later and not eat it right now but then I remembered that's not really who I am as a person.
Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) December 16, 2017

I asked my 1-year-old if she wanted pizza.

She nodded so hard she fell over.

So, yes, I'm sure she's mine.

James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 30, 2017","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn","author_url":"https://twitter.com/XplodingUnicorn","cache_age":86400,"description":"I asked my 1-year-old if she wanted pizza.She nodded so hard she fell over.So, yes, I'm sure she's mine. 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I asked my 1-year-old if she wanted pizza.

She nodded so hard she fell over.

So, yes, I'm sure she's mine.
James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 30, 2017

[INTERVIEW]

HR: What are your strengths?

Me:*pulls out & eats an entire pizza*

HR: Wow-Weaknesses?

Me:*pulls out & eats an entire pizza*

The Cultured Ruffian (@CulturedRuffian) April 13, 2016","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"The Cultured Ruffian","author_url":"https://twitter.com/CulturedRuffian","cache_age":86400,"description":"[INTERVIEW]HR: What are your strengths?Me:*pulls out & eats an entire pizza*HR: Wow-Weaknesses?Me:*pulls out & eats an entire pizza* The Cultured Ruffian (@CulturedRuffian) April 13, 2016\n\n","provider_name":"Twitter","title":"The Cultured Ruffian on 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[INTERVIEW]

HR: What are your strengths?

Me:*pulls out & eats an entire pizza*

HR: Wow-Weaknesses?

Me:*pulls out & eats an entire pizza*
The Cultured Ruffian (@CulturedRuffian) April 13, 2016

Before you join a meal kit delivery service read this:

Pizza comes to your house already cooked.

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Before you join a meal kit delivery service read this:

Pizza comes to your house already cooked.
Simon Holland (@simoncholland) October 30, 2018

a dating app but its pizza instead of men and i choose my perfect pizza and then someone brings it directly to me oh hey wait a minute

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a dating app but its pizza instead of men and i choose my perfect pizza and then someone brings it directly to me oh hey wait a minute
keely flaherty (@keelyflaherty) August 16, 2018

You know the last scene in Dirty Dancing? I just recreated it with a piece of pizza

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You know the last scene in Dirty Dancing? I just recreated it with a piece of pizza
Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) October 16, 2012

My love language is: decide I have a crush on someone, never speak to them, get mad at them for not picking up on my nonexistent vibes, end crush, eat entire domino's pizza, repeat

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My love language is: decide I have a crush on someone, never speak to them, get mad at them for not picking up on my nonexistent vibes, end crush, eat entire domino's pizza, repeat
Mitra Jouhari (@tweetrajouhari) April 8, 2018

Me: I want to be heathy but I don't want to cook
Brain: Have a carrot
Me: Ugh you have to peel them
Brain: Have an apple
Me:
Brain:
Me:
Brain: You just bite right-
Me, already on the phone: I'd like a pizza
Brain: !!!
Me: WITH VEGETABLES ON IT

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Me: I want to be heathy but I don't want to cook
Brain: Have a carrot
Me: Ugh you have to peel them
Brain: Have an apple
Me:
Brain:
Me:
Brain: You just bite right-
Me, already on the phone: I'd like a pizza
Brain: !!!
Me: WITH VEGETABLES ON IT
maura quint (@behindyourback) February 8, 2018

Me: Are we having pizza tonight?@jeanniegaffigan : We agreed we were going to have leftovers.
Me: Right. (beat) But pizza might be a nice treat for the kids. End of the week...
Jeannie: We agreed we dont want them to eat crap.
Me:
Jeannie:
Me: So. should I order pizza?

Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) May 11, 2018","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Jim Gaffigan","author_url":"https://twitter.com/JimGaffigan","cache_age":86400,"description":"Me: Are we having pizza tonight?@jeanniegaffigan : We agreed we were going to have leftovers.Me: Right. (beat) But pizza might be a nice treat for the kids. End of the week...Jeannie: We agreed we dont want them to eat crap.Me: Jeannie: Me: So. should I order pizza? 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Me: Are we having pizza tonight?@jeanniegaffigan : We agreed we were going to have leftovers.
Me: Right. (beat) But pizza might be a nice treat for the kids. End of the week...
Jeannie: We agreed we dont want them to eat crap.
Me:
Jeannie:
Me: So. should I order pizza?
Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) May 11, 2018

I told my 4-year-old we arent having pizza today

She fell to the ground like shed been shot

Honestly, that was the appropriate response.

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I told my 4-year-old we arent having pizza today

She fell to the ground like shed been shot

Honestly, that was the appropriate response.
James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 22, 2016

I ordered pizza for me and my buddy and when I took the first bite after it got delivered I meant to say this is just what the doctor ordered but instead I said this is just what I ordered

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I ordered pizza for me and my buddy and when I took the first bite after it got delivered I meant to say this is just what the doctor ordered but instead I said this is just what I ordered
pat tobin (@tastefactory) January 27, 2019

Monday: That's it; I'm off dairy.
Tuesday: There's no dairy in crme frache, right?
Wednesday: Umm, yes, I'll have the six-cheese pizza, please.

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Monday: That's it; I'm off dairy.
Tuesday: There's no dairy in crme frache, right?
Wednesday: Umm, yes, I'll have the six-cheese pizza, please.
Kendra Alvey (@Kendragarden) August 22, 2018

Started thinking I want a baby and then I ate a slice of pizza and it literally went away

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Started thinking I want a baby and then I ate a slice of pizza and it literally went away
Charlene deGuzman (@charstarlene) June 22, 2018

I have come to realize that at some point in the day, I will order and consume a pizza so it might as well be in the morning

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I have come to realize that at some point in the day, I will order and consume a pizza so it might as well be in the morning
christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) October 13, 2015

8YR OLD: dad, can we get pizza for dinner tonight?

ME: aw sweetie, I'm sorryI had pizza for lunch

8: you think I give a damn what you had for lunch?

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8YR OLD: dad, can we get pizza for dinner tonight?

ME: aw sweetie, I'm sorryI had pizza for lunch

8: you think I give a damn what you had for lunch?
Andy H. (@AndyAsAdjective) April 11, 2018

*puts on romantic music*
*lights candles*
*scatters pizza bagels all over the bed*

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*puts on romantic music*
*lights candles*
*scatters pizza bagels all over the bed*
Mary Charlene (@IamEnidColeslaw) January 5, 2015

Just binge watched a whole pizza

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Just binge watched a whole pizza
Megan Amram (@meganamram) October 25, 2016

I ate roughly three pieces of pizza.

The fourth I ate rather gently.

Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) March 3, 2018","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Abby Heugel","author_url":"https://twitter.com/AbbyHasIssues","cache_age":86400,"description":"I ate roughly three pieces of pizza. The fourth I ate rather gently. 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I ate roughly three pieces of pizza.

The fourth I ate rather gently.
Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) March 3, 2018

My 8yo just called the delivery guy his pizza angel and now if youll please excuse me I need to go register a trademark.

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My 8yo just called the delivery guy his pizza angel and now if youll please excuse me I need to go register a trademark.
Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) September 21, 2018

Pizza's here guys! I shout to the empty house.

A single tear runs down the delivery man's face. He knows.

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Pizza's here guys! I shout to the empty house.

A single tear runs down the delivery man's face. He knows.
Deirdre (@figgled) October 15, 2015

I don't drown my sorrows, I smother them (with pizza)

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I don't drown my sorrows, I smother them (with pizza)
Mary Charlene (@IamEnidColeslaw) February 18, 2013

Friend: Hey I see you smiling at your phone. Who is she?

Me: {quickly closing out a Pizza Hut order confirmation email} Oh, just some girl.

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Friend: Hey I see you smiling at your phone. Who is she?

Me: {quickly closing out a Pizza Hut order confirmation email} Oh, just some girl.
Seth (@djsethlowery) August 16, 2016

A woman walked into the gym wearing workout clothes & carrying a full-sized pizza box.

I think I just found my new personal trainer.

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A woman walked into the gym wearing workout clothes & carrying a full-sized pizza box.

I think I just found my new personal trainer.
Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) January 13, 2019

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Nothing tastes as good as pizza feels.

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Nothing tastes as good as pizza feels.
Emily Nussbaum (@emilynussbaum) August 7, 2018

I will never forgive Steve Jobs for leaving this earth before making it possible to download pizza.

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I will never forgive Steve Jobs for leaving this earth before making it possible to download pizza.
caprice crane (@capricecrane) June 17, 2012

When you walk into a loud bar, the bouncer should check for ID but also if you'd rather just have pizza & call it a night

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When you walk into a loud bar, the bouncer should check for ID but also if you'd rather just have pizza & call it a night
Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) April 11, 2015