This year, respiratory illnesses are on the rise, and our family has added to that count more than once. Well, most of our family.

You see, Im sick in bed because my kid has coughed, sneezed and, oh yeah, vomited all over me. But my husband is completely fine, living his best healthy life out in the world, trying to locate his phone and food in the fridge.

When our kid is sick, my husbands parenting fight or flight response kicks in, and his usual can-do attitude vanishes, along with our much-needed stash of tissues.

Honey, can you get us a cold cloth? I text my partner. My sons fever is high, and my little guy has asked me to stay with him because his head hurts. After reading my husbands response, I immediately reconsider the request.

Maybe I should ask my mom (who lives 15 minutes away) to bring us a washcloth. I wouldnt need to text her detailed instructions on how to make a cold cloth. Texting my partner with one hand, I comfort my crying son with the other.

The sleep-deprived knot in my stomach wont let me ignore the truth: I wish parenting felt more equal. Why isnt taking care of our son when hes sick more balanced between us?

Slate reported that 74% of moms (versus 40% of dads) stay home when their kids get sick. Julie Spears , a licensed clinical social worker, told HuffPost that for many heteronormative couples, a she-fault situation can occur in the parenting dynamic.

Women are typically expected to be caregivers, Spears said. Historically, girls have been expected to be caring and empathetic, gender socialization theorists say, while boys have typically been taught to inhibit these kinds of prosocial behaviors. Connecting these caregiving dots, we see how gender beliefs form in childhood and continue to influence our parenting in adulthood.

In many households, its the moms calling the pediatrician, cleaning up the vomit and attending to the needs of their feverish children.

Supatra Tovar , a clinical psychologist, told HuffPost this pattern persists due to factors including implicit expectations and practical habits.

There may be unspoken assumptions (or expectations) that the mother should take on more caregiving duties, Tovar said. Plus, some mamas take on more caregiving responsibilities from the start, and Tovar said this can form a lasting pattern.

Any of this feel familiar?

If the responsibility to care for your coughing kids is all yours, know that you are not alone. Linda P. from Aurora, Illinois, told HuffPost that taking care of her three children when they got sick fell to her because I made less money than my kids dad, so the potential of losing my income would be less impactful than him losing his.

One 2012 study found that even if working mothers and fathers have similar access to paid sick days, mothers miss work more often to care for their kids.

Choosing between your career and comforting your children when theyre ill isnt a choice moms should face, but many do. Men dont feel empowered to take off work, and thats a societal shift we need to work on, Spears added.