Note: This essay contains discussions and images that may be triggering for some readers.

In support of the recent National Eating Disorders Awareness Week , Im coming out about my history with disordered eating, which Ive never publicly discussed before.

Id thought about sharing my story a few times in the past. Once I was asked to write an article for The Wall Street Journal on beauty and body-shaming . Initially I toyed with calling the piece I Threw Up Three Minutes Before I Wrote This and opening up about life in the trenches of bulimia, but ultimately I decided against it. It felt too vulnerable to talk about something I was struggling with (not to mention that I had recently written an article about my moms battle with cancer and I was self-conscious about coming across as one big cry for help).

But now Ive been in recovery maintenance for two years. Im no longer actively engaging in disordered eating. After spending a lot of time in therapy working on myself and confronting what Ive experienced, I finally feel like I have the perspective required to write about what Ive been through and maybe hopefully it might help someone who is going through the same thing feel less alone. (Plus, its been a good few years since mom died, so my quota for trauma sharing is ready to be refilled.)

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My disordered eating started when I was 11. As a child actress working in Hollywood, I quickly learned that remaining physically small for my age meant I had a better chance of booking more roles. Unfortunately, I had a trusty and dedicated companion ready to help me with my burgeoning anorexia: my mom!