Positivity is a choice that Lauren Lolo Spencer had to consciously make at 14 years old, when she stared down a daunting diagnosis of ALS one that predicted that she had five years left to live. She said, Nah, not me, and never looked back. Now at 35, shes a model, actress, disability advocate who dropped a memoir this week called, Access Your Drive and Enjoy The Ride: A Guide on Achieving Your Dreams from a Person with a Disability. In it, she describes the important decisions shes made after her body began to change, including the one to live a robust happy life from the comfort of her power wheelchair.

Contrary to popular belief, happy, young wheelchair users do exist. After all, a mobility aid doesnt limit us, as so much of the world believes. It, in fact, provides us with the agency to live freely and as independently as we can.

No one debunks the outdated, sad-disabled-person trope quite like Spencer. Her entire career, stemming from her YouTube channel, Sitting Pretty , has been dedicated to showing people all the positive, fun, dope things she does in life to show that disability lifestyle can be fun, fly, and sexy, just like anything else. Spencer not only wants to educate non-disabled people about disability especially the experiences of a wheelchair user but also empower other disabled people to live complete lives.

As a young, female wheelchair user myself, Spencers energizing attitude towards every challenge in life has been an antidote to the negativity that often creeps up for me. Of course, its natural for anyone to feel sad sometimes but I always believed that because of my disability, my happiness would come with giant caveats. But to that oppressive belief, Ive learned to say, Nah, not me.

Though Spencers been dealt a tough hand, shes remained committed to living authentically on her own terms, which is a journey I am also on. And while Im still finding my footing on this path, Spencer gave me an enlightening peek into how shes crafted her beautiful, bountiful life.

In your book, you say non-disabled people dont understand how a disabled person can live a happy life this really resonated with me. And you are a life-affirming rebuttal to that. Where does your positivity come from?

Ultimately, I would say it really comes from my family and friends. You know, I always give them as much credit as I possibly can because Im a firm believer in the importance of your environment and having people around you with like-minded beliefs and morals. I have been incredibly blessed to be part of a family thats always remained positive and one that knows how to have a good time. I come from a family full of musicians and so, to party, to listen to music all of that has been in my DNA all of my life.

When I was diagnosed, nobody changed, and that was really imperative. Because I was born into that energy with my family and then it grew with all of the friends that Ive made over time that have similar perspectives on positivity. I really attribute it to them and, of course, doing my own work through therapy and ultimately, making a choice. Thats kind of like the theme of the whole book is being able to make a decision [to be happy]. I know the other option is to just wallow in my own sorrow so I do my best to always fight to stay on the other side.