My fianc and I were set to get married on March 28 with roughly half of our guests flying into California from the East Coast. Last week, we, like many other couples around the world, were stuck in limbo: planning as if the wedding was still on while following the coronavirus news and realizing the chances of it happening at least in the way we imagined were getting slimmer and slimmer.

Anxious thoughts ate at me: How many guests would even be able to come? Would people get sick traveling to the wedding? What if they came and infected others? Given the social distancing recommendations , would I even be able to hug my friends and family? Would people be too scared to dance or celebrate? If we were to postpone, how much money would we lose? The uncertainty overwhelmed me, and I was wracked with guilt not exactly the headspace you want to be in leading up to what should be one of the happiest days of your life.

Then people began dropping out: first grandparents, then family friends with underlying conditions, then a pregnant bridesmaid and another bridesmaid who works at a hospital. I couldnt picture getting married with so many loved ones absent. The morning of March 13, we decided to postpone the wedding.