The traditional perception of a soulmate is someone who will "sweep you off your feet, bring you everlasting love and happiness, and solve all your problems so that you'll never feel lonely, upset or angry again." Society (and Hollywood) has led us to believe that we all have someone out there who will "complete us" -- implying that we couldn't possibly be whole all by ourselves. According to this theory your soulmate would never trigger you, piss you off, annoy you or, God forbid, disagree with you... right?

Not necessarily... In fact, the more your mate drives you nuts, the better chance they are your soulmate.

Soulmates come in many forms. They can be a sister, a spouse, or even a best friend. And underneath the connection, the unconditional love and support that you feel, lurks something that you may not expect: a TEACHER.

Surprise! A true soulmate is someone who is in your life to teach you. Soulmates can make you feel like the world is your oyster, AND they can trigger the hell out of you. But rest assured, all this "triggering" is designed for your growth. Relationships mirror back to us how we feel about ourselves -- and, let's face it, sometimes that's not so pretty. Hey, don't blame me. I'm just the messenger. I didn't set this whole thing up. In fact, YOU did! Before you came to Earth, YOU decided what lessons your soul needed to learn and how you were going to learn these lessons.

What we've been conditioned to expect out of a soulmate relationship has set us up for disappointment. Sorry, ladies, but Prince Charming does not exist. Or as my mom so wisely put it: If you expect him to ride up on a white horse, you might want to make sure he OWNS a white horse to ride up on. Now, how many men do you know who fit into this category? Personally, I don't know any. So throw the notion of being saved out the window. It's not going to happen.

Don't worry. I'm not claiming that every relationship has to be a challenging, difficult mess. What I'm saying is that every relationship is meant to teach us something about ourselves. They are ALL meant to assist us in our growth. And, who knows, maybe your lesson in this lifetime is to have more fun. If it is, lucky you! I won't call you a slacker -- at least not to your face. In fact, I think I'll take the slacker route next lifetime. I'm exhausted!

So the next time you're out there looking for your "soulmate" -- don't be fooled by the instant connection and the "I swear I've known you for years" feeling. (That's how they hook you!) Because when the dust settles, and the falling in love hormones subside -- you're in for the ride of you life. Just remember, that ride is for your highest good. You set it up. And instead of running away screaming when times get tough and the learning begins, maybe it'd be best to stick around, take a good look at your SELF and embrace the process. Who knows, you might just find that after all the searching, your true soulmate was your SELF all along.