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Posted: 2019-12-20T20:30:46Z | Updated: 2019-12-23T21:40:14Z

Growing up, social psychologist Susan Newman rolled her eyes every time her parents told her she needed to send a thank-you note to a relative or family friend.

Today, her kids do the same thing.

I balked and my children balk, Newman, the author of Little Things Long Remembered: Making Your Children Feel Special Every Day , told HuffPost.

The excuse is often, I dont have time, and I get it: Children today are frequently over-scheduled and time to write a note is hard to find, she said. Your kids wont understand the merits of thank-you notes unless you explain why acknowledging a gift or favor is important.

Kids have probably always been loath to do it, but there was a time when parents were more inclined to insist their kids dash off a quick thank-you note. In the 19th century , sending a thank-you note for a gift or kind gesture was par for the course. But in the internet era, our preference for rapid communication and our busy schedules have all but snuffed out the tradition.

We have become a busier and less formal society in general, Newman said. So today, writing a card and getting an envelope in the mail is surprising and welcome. And for relatives, its a cherished reminder that a child is grateful and loves them back.

Its true: Research suggests that the simple act of saying (or writing) thanks makes the recipient feel happier and more engaged with the sender, and also increases the emotional intelligence of the person giving thanks. (And who doesnt want to raise an emotionally intelligent kid?)

Clearly, theres a lot of benefits to sending thank-you notes. But how do you convince your kid that its a legitimately fun and easy thing to do? Below, Newman and other experts offer their best tips.

Remind them that a thank-you note doesnt need to be long.

A thank-you note doesnt need to be literary or long, especially if its being written by a little person. Let your kids know that just a few words to show your gratitude will work, said Diane Gottsman , an etiquette expert and author of Modern Etiquette for a Better Life .

A child will grow up learning how to thank someone if they are guided but you dont want to make them feel uncomfortable about how long the note was or their handwriting, she said.

Dont criticize, Gottsman said, and dont stand over their shoulder, instructing them what to write.

You can give them direction but dont rewrite the entire letter for them, she said. And older teens and young adults should be free to write whatever theyd like in their note.