It was a lazy Sunday morning at brunch with our child-free friends who usually tolerate our rambunctious group of five kids under age 10. At least, it felt lazy-ish to us.

As the noise ramped up and the syrup was passed a little too aggressively across the table, my friends husband shook his head and said, Welp, I havent seen a Sunday morning brunch like this before. Thank God ours is mostly reading the paper and listening to chill music with mimosas. I dont know how you do it.

I retorted back, Sounds pretty boring, half-jokingly but mostly not. Deep down, I was offended.

It wasnt the first time child-free friends, as well as acquaintances and strangers, have commented on our large brood. In fact, we seem to be comparable to a circus spectacle walking through the grocery store, based on the sheer amount of feedback weve heard on our life decisions, including but not limited to:

• Havent you figured out how that happens yet?
• Did you mean to have that many kids?
• Did you know you wanted a big family?
• Was your fifth an accident?
• Wow, good luck paying for [insert expensive things, like college or milk]
• How do you keep track of them all?
• How do you do it?
• You are done, arent you?
• Are you getting a vasectomy?
• Are they all yours?

A 2023 Gallup poll found that 45% of Americans thought having a large family (defined as three or more children) was ideal the highest approval rate for such families since 1973. But according to a 2021 Pew Research Center report, there has also been an increase in the percentage of people who dont want kids 44%, up from 37% in 2018.

There has to be a way for these two large groups to coexist, snarky commentary be damned.